The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Page 9

  “Goodnight,” Taylor says, and I wave as they all get into the taxi, I can’t believe they’re all sharing it. That close quarters with both Nadine and Gemma, it’s like a war zone waiting to happen.

  I turn to Taylor as the taxi drives off, he looks so tired. “Natalie, thank you so much for this evening. Without you, this wouldn’t have happened. You charmed them from the get go.” He smiles at me with so much pride.

  “I’m just happy to help, it was fun.” I doubt I charmed anyone, I really didn’t say anything once dinner was served. “So, where are we going?” I ask pulling my jacket tighter against me, its bloody cold out here.

  “Ah, I am keeping you out in the cold. I apologise Natalie but I’m going to head on home and get some rest I’ve a big day ahead of me tomorrow.” He sounds so apologetic, his eyes full of regret.

  “Don’t apologise, it’s okay, you had a long night. I’ll get you your refund.” I’ll have to talk to Pen because I don’t have the money on me, Midnight Lovers gets paid prior to our dates so we don’t carry money around with us, it’s a way to guarantee that one, the clients don’t be arseholes and two, a way to ensure we’re not robbed.

  He laughs. “Seriously Natalie, don’t worry about it, you more than earned that money tonight. Do you want me to give you a lift home?”

  I give him a look that tells him to get real. “I’m fine thank you.”

  Smirking, he stands by the curb and as hails me a taxi. “The least I can do is make sure that you get home safely.” He turns to the taxi driver handing him some money. “Drive her home and wait until she’s inside,” he says with an edge to his tone. The taxi driver nods as Taylor opens the back door and holds it open for me.

  “Taylor you didn’t need to pay for the taxi,” I say getting into the taxi.

  “It’s done, thank you for a wonderful evening Natalie, I’ll see you again.” He leans forward and kisses my cheek, before closing the door.

  I give the driver my address and he pulls off, turning to look out the window, I smile as Taylor waves goodbye.

  Chapter 10

  Six Weeks Later

  Christmas has come and gone, and I spent the day with Penelope and her boyfriend Grant, I really like Grant, watching him and Penelope was magical; he’s besotted with her and she is with him, although she tries to hide it, she’s happy and it’s because of Grant and for that I love him. She’s scared about getting hurt, because of her ex-husband. He was a right arsehole, he was a pimp and Penelope had no idea when they first met, she actually didn’t find out until after Annalisa was born it was a mess of a marriage and she barely escaped with her life. Pen’s very talkative when she’s had a few drinks, although she’s not real talkative to Grant, she keeps him at arm’s length and if she continues, it’s not going to end happily.

  My stepdad has stepped up whatever game he’s playing, he definitely has my address and it frightens me. Not only have the calls become more frequent, so have the letters. Every week I get one, it says the exact same thing.

  I know where you are, I’m coming for you.

  It’s put me on edge, every day I’m waiting for that phone call and each week I’m waiting on that letter to arrive and each and every time I receive them, I’m back to that little girl again wishing that I could be with my mum. That’s all I used to think, every night when he would crawl into my bed, I’d wish that I was with my mum when her car crashed, that I had died that day too. It takes me a while before I can pull myself out of those thoughts. Even then the feelings linger for a while, I get no let up, he calls every day, I don’t get the chance to fully get my head together. It’s just constant stress and fear, Pen’s noticed that something's wrong she keeps telling me that I’m losing weight. I just don’t want to tell her that things have escalated, I can’t help but think that I’m a burden on her.

  The last six weeks, I’ve had more clients than I can deal with, I’m actually getting really tired of sleeping with them, I scrub a hundred times harder in the shower, nothing works. Dirty, it runs through my head when I’m finished with the clients and I’m at the point where I’m wondering if it’s even worth it right now. I have enough money to put myself through hairdressing college and more than enough to rent out a salon when the time comes. I just don’t have the courage or belief that I can actually lead a normal life, that I’d be able to. I mean, I’m a prostitute for crying out loud, nobody is going to want to marry a woman who’s slept with men for money. I guess I’m destined to be alone.

  Today is a much-needed day off, I’m slumming it today. Instead of wearing heels and dressing nicely I’m dressed in leggings, a hoodie, and I’m wearing a pair of trainers. I like being able to dress down and just relax, today I’m having a look around a boot sale, just to have a look at what’s out there. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a boot sale and I hope that I don’t spend all of my money on things I don’t need, I’ve enough crap to last me a lifetime.

  I browse through the stalls, there isn’t anything catching my eye, but I still love to have a good rummage, you never know what you may find. This boot sale is big, there’s got to be at least a hundred cars here if not more, it’s going to take some time to look around, but I don’t mind, the sun’s shining for a change and I’ve nothing else planned for the day.

  Two hours later and I’ve bought nothing, I had a good time though, it was fun looking. I saw a PlayStation with loads of games and was tempted to buy it, in the end I decided against it because I wasn’t sure if it would be working or if I’d actually have the time to play it. I decide that I’ll do something I’ve never done before. Something I’ve wanted to do since I moved here to London, I’m going to explore. I’m going to visit the famous landmarks. I’ve always wanted to go to Big Ben, the Tower of London, The Eye, and everything else I can fit in today. I’m so excited to do this, I’m like a child at Christmas, I walk toward the tube station and head towards Central London.

  Darkness has descended but London is lit up, it’s so beautiful, today has been exactly what I needed, no stress, and no worries. I’m starving, I’ve not eaten since this morning and my stomach’s growling like crazy, I have no idea what to eat, I don’t really fancy anything greasy but at the same time, I can’t be arsed cooking. There lies my dilemma, do I be lazy and get a takeaway or do I go home and cook something?

  “Natalie?” Someone calls from behind me. My heart begins a staccato beat as my blood runs cold when I recognise who that voice belongs to. I pretend that I don’t hear him calling my name and continue walking. “Natalie, please wait,” he begs, his footsteps getting closer to me.

  I stop with an angry sigh, what the hell does he want? I don’t turn around, I wait for him to come to me. “Natalie,” he says with a smile coming to stand in front of me.

  I stare at him with loathing. “Richie,” I reply bitchily, what the hell does he want?

  His eyes widen. “I fucked up, Natalie,”

  “Okay,” I say, I have no idea what he expects from me but telling me he fucked up means nothing to me. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go home.” I don’t want to stand here and talk to him; the last time we spoke I was stupid and ending up getting hurt.

  “Please,” he says, and I cross my arms over my chest and raise my eyebrows. “Please let me explain,” he begs, those gorgeous green eyes of his staring at me with so much sorrow. “I promise you Natalie, if you let me explain and you want nothing to do with me after, I’ll leave you alone.” That accent of his is really getting to me, not to mention the sadness in his eyes, my resolve is waning and I’m considering letting him talk.

  “Richie, why on earth should I give you my time?” The anger I had when he called my name has gone.

  He smiles knowing full well that I’m going to listen to what he has to say, I want answers after all. “Natalie, I owe you an explanation.”

  Damn straight he does but at the same time I don’t want to listen to the pathetic excuses, because that’s all it’s going to be. He’
s either going to say things that have me forgiving him or I’m going to hate him even more and I don’t have the energy to hate someone and I certainly don’t want to forgive him.

  “Can we go somewhere and talk? How about a coffee? Maybe tea?” His eyes plead with me but that smirk on his face tells me he’s doing this on purpose.

  “You’re joking right?” I say in disbelief. “How about we go sit on that bench and talk.” I nod my head in the direction of the bench and that cockiness he had, immediately drops. “I’m not going to have coffee or tea with you,” I tell him firmly, although I do miss out the word ever from that sentence. I’m not stupid, my heart may be but my brain’s not, I’m not letting him get close to me, not this time. I got burnt the last time and I’m not glutton for punishment.

  “Okay, we’ll talk on the bench.” He throws his hand out for me to lead the way, as soon as I walk ahead, he catches up, walking beside me. “Firstly, I really should apologise for leaving without a word. That was a shitty thing to do.”

  I sit on the bench and look at him, he’s not changed much although I do spy a tattoo peeking out of his jacket. “Why do it then?” I fire back at him. Waking up in the morning and finding him gone hurt so much. Even thinking about it now hurts but it also made me realise that it was my own fault for letting myself get that close to someone. Maybe I’m more angry at myself than I am at him.

  “I was an arse Natalie, I really liked you, you were funny, sexy, and really great to be around. When you brought me back to your hotel room I was over the moon, when I woke up in the morning and saw you lying there, I knew you were young, and it got me thinking.” He shakes his head like he’s trying to rid himself of horrid thoughts.

  “Thinking what?” I’m still bloody angry and this going around the houses just pisses me off, I’d rather he be straight and tell me why he ran like a coward.

  He sighs as he takes my hand, but I pull it away, he doesn’t get to do that. He’s seriously trying to mess with my head and it’s getting to me, it really is. Right now, my head's a bloody mess, I’m not sure if I’m coming or going.

  “Natalie, I’m thirty. I’ll be thirty-one in June, you’re what twenty?” he asks me, and I bite my lip, he thinks I’m older than I am although his age is a surprise, he doesn’t look that old. “Natalie?” He asks sounding scared.

  I shake my head as dread hits me. “No I’m eighteen,” I tell him honestly and the colour drains from his face. “When we were together, I was seventeen.”

  His eyes widen before he closes them, regret written all over his face. “Christ. It’s worse than I thought,” he says in a tortured whisper.

  “It’s not that bad,” I bite out, pissed off that he’s regretting sleeping with me, it was bad enough he upped and left now he’s wishing it never happened. Wanker.

  “Not that bad?” he asks, horrified. “Christ Natalie, you were seventeen and I was thirty.”

  “I was still legal.” I don’t get what he’s getting so worked up about. “It doesn’t matter, you fucked off anyway so what does it matter now?” I’m the one that’s getting worked up while he’s sitting there looking like a deer caught in headlights. “What is it that you’re hoping to get out of this conversation?”

  He shrugs, which further pisses me off. “I have no idea, I honestly don’t, I thought that I should apologise for the way I behaved. That I at least owed you that.”

  “Owed me it? We had sex, Richie, it’s not like we got married.” This is my anger talking. Deep down I want this apology, I want him to say he was wrong, and he wishes things would have been different. “Did your girlfriend put you up to this? Did she send you here so that we’d all get along so it’d be easier for her and Stef?”

  He frowns. “No Jess didn’t put me up to this. Actually, we broke up.”

  My heart soars at his words but then I realise that he’s actually really cut up about it. That’s why his eyes hold so much sorrow. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “I really am sorry, Natalie. I never set out to do that, I wish I could change it. I really do.” His fingers tentatively caress mine, I don’t pull away and he takes it as a cue and holds my hand.

  Something about this isn’t adding up. “So, what made you leave? You’ve apologised profusely but Richie, I don’t get why you did it.”

  He doesn’t look at me, his eyes are on the ground and whatever it is that he’s going to say is going to be bad. “I woke up and things made sense. I realised that you were a prostitute, it’s why you were walking that street the first night that I met you. It’s why you were in the exact same place the next night, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I confess quietly, although I have no idea why I’m acting ashamed, I learnt a long time ago that being a prossie was something that wasn’t accepted in society. That women would hate me, and men would use me if I ever did get a normal life.

  He doesn’t say anything, those green eyes of his staring at me. “Why? Why did you choose to be a prostitute?” His eyes narrow and those gorgeous green eyes that one time used to sparkle when he looked at me are full of hurt.

  “I didn’t set out to become one. Do you think I love being a prostitute? That it’s what I set out to become?” I ask, and his face is blank, not a single emotion being shown, he’s shut down. “You’re truly an arsehole.”

  “Are you still doing it?” he asks, that accent of his thicker than it ever was before.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re still working on the streets? Have you lost your mind?” He shouts at me and I flinch.

  “No, I haven’t lost my mind, I’m not working the streets I work for a company called Midnight Lovers, not that it’s any of your bloody business.” I’m on the verge of tears, I knew having this talk wouldn’t be worth it. “I’m done, next time you see me in the street don’t bother calling my name.”

  “Natalie, I’m sorry, please….”

  I stand up. “I’ve had enough of arseholes to last me a lifetime. I’ve been hurt before and I fought my way to be who I am today. I don’t need to have you in my life looking down on me for doing something that I had no choice but to do. I thought you were one of the good guys, I was wrong.” I walk away hoping and praying that the tears that are so close to the surface don’t come.

  His fingers close around my wrist and he gently pulls me back to him. “Natalie, please will you stop and listen to me?”

  I pull my arm out of his grip. “No Richie I won’t. You’ve said what you had to say, I’m not in the mood to listen anymore, I don’t need to hear whatever it is that you want to say, it’s not going to help things.”

  “For fuck’s sake Natalie! I’m an arsehole. You, God, Natalie, I’ve not once forgotten you. Once I left all I wanted to do was come back,” he tells me, but I don’t believe him, no way is that true, if he wanted to come back, he could have. “Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “You’re only saying that because you’re alone. When you were with your girlfriend you didn’t give a fuck. Just do me a favour, yeah? Just leave me alone.” This time I walk away, and I don’t look back, he shows how full of crap he was as he doesn’t follow me.

  I walk back to my house anger pumping through my body, I’m angry at myself because I’m hurt yet again by him, hurt that he looked horrified when I confirmed that I was a prostitute. I’m mad for still wanting him, I still have feelings for him and as much I wish there was an off switch there isn’t. I hope that this is the last time that I see him because I don’t want to go through this every time he’s around, I’m under enough stress right now not to add him into the mix.

  As soon as I walk into my house I get changed into my pyjamas, tonight I’m going to pig out and eat takeaway and junk food, I’m not going to answer my phone to anyone and I’m going to binge on NCIS. I love Gibbs, Dinozzo, and McGee. The three of them are like the three musketeers. I’m going to try to forget everything that’s happened and move on with my life. I need to talk to Penelope and tell her what’
s going on with my stepdad, she’s going to go mental when she finds out I’ve been keeping quiet about it.

  Chapter 11

  Penelope called me first thing this morning. There’s a new client and he’s asked for me personally. I’m a little freaked out about it, usually the clients will give Pen an age range of the escort they’d like, and Penelope will choose which girl will go, she’s hired some new girls now that Stefanie is leaving. I’m still shocked that she’s having a baby but I’m also excited that I’m going to be an aunt, I can’t wait.

  So many things are happening at once and I’m trying my hardest to work through them all. The only way I can do that is internally, so I’m withdrawn and moody. Pretty much the way I was when Pen first found me. She’s worried and scared that I’m going to do a runner but I’m not, I love her too much to leave her. She really doesn’t need to worry, I’m doing okay, just scared and I’ll overcome that eventually.

  This new client sounds like a bit of a freak, he’s asked that I wear minimal makeup or none at all, that I dress conservatively, basically he wants me to look like my normal self. I’m having weird vibes about him already and I’ve not even met him. He’s bringing me to an engagement party which is a new one even for me. But there will be drinks and I hope there will be food. I’ll be fine as long as he’s not a clingy client, one of those that I have to be constantly attached to them. Then there are the others that talk to you like you’re a piece of shit. I’m honestly not sure which one is worse.

  I walk into Midnight Lovers and catch sight of Pen standing in the foyer on her phone, whoever’s on the other end is getting an earful. She’s angry and pacing, that’s not a good thing. I try to walk past her to go upstairs where I have a lot of clothes, I sometimes use this as a dressing room. There’s always someone here to talk to, being at home all the time gets lonely so if I come here, I get to interact with people.