The Scandals of Life Page 6

  I nod and let him begin while trying to gather my own thoughts; what questions I want to ask him.

  "So, you're probably wondering why I stayed married to her when I knew that she was cheating on me?" he asks as he puts his coffee down on the table beside mine and turns on the sofa so he can stare at me, which is kind of unnerving.

  "Well, yeah," I say and although “well, duh” would have been a better answer I'll stay with being polite.

  "We met when we were seventeen, she was nice back then. A year later we got married. Everything was going good, then she started to show the real her. One moment she would be fine the next she'd be throwing plates and cups at me. I knew she was sick but I didn't know what to do to help her. I asked her to go to the doctor but she wouldn't listen." He sounds regretful, that maybe he should have pushed her into seeing someone.

  "That's not your fault, you can't force someone to get help if they don't want it." I know that he won't listen to what I'm saying.

  He shrugs. “I took vows, to love her through sickness and health. I take my vows seriously. I mean we hadn't really known each other that long."

  "James..." I don't know what to say, I get that he's a man of his word but sometimes enough is enough.

  "She would go weeks being normal, being the loving woman that I married. Hell, I think the longest I got was four months before she'd do a one-eighty. She's not nice to be around when she gets going. I think the cheating started long before our nuptials, although I can't be sure. The first time I found out about it was when she said she was working late; I thought nothing of it being that she's a legal secretary. I get that if they have a big case she may need to stay late, so I went out with Jacob. Since I'd been married we hadn't really spent much time together. Jacob has been my best friend since we were in primary school. That was the day before our second wedding anniversary."

  Oh, I can see where this is going.

  "We get to the bar and there she is with this guy, they're all over each other, kissing and grinding. I didn't even finish my drink, I went home and waited for her to come home. I confronted her and she began to cry. She told me that it only happened once, that tonight was the biggest mistake she'd ever made and that she was so sorry." He shakes his head. “I was a fool and I believed her. She was back to her normal self, although this time she was extra nice. I bought it for too long, she played me like a fiddle."

  "James, you wanted to believe your wife, there's nothing wrong with that!" God, he can't put that on himself. She sounds like a right cow. Well, she is one. I've met her.

  "We got to our ten-year wedding anniversary. I had put up with a lot from her over those ten years. Other than Jacob, nobody else knew about her extramarital liaisons."

  I try not to laugh at the way he puts it but I can't help it.

  "Too posh?" I nod and he smiles. God, I love when he smiles. "Anyway, my mum and dad had planned us an anniversary party. We all knew about it and Valerie wanted to look nice so my sister took her to be pampered for the day. Anyway, party time arrives and Lisa was like a raging bull whenever Valerie was around her. I asked her what's wrong but she kept blowing me off. Once the party had finished, Val had disappeared and finally Lisa decided to tell me what had happened."

  Dread fills my stomach. God, what did the bitch do?

  "She invited the guy she'd been sleeping with to the party. Not her boss, this was her latest conquest. While she and Lisa were out getting pampered Lisa overheard the conversation, she didn't even try and hide it. She told him that she had this stupid party to go to and her useless husband was going to be there but they could sneak off while it was going on."

  I gasp. “She never?"

  He nods. “Yep, they disappeared into the annex, where my dad walked in on them. Once her boyfriend had gone, she finally showed her face. My mum slapped her. God it was awful. Valerie decided that it was the time to come clean to my family, she'd been having an affair with that guy for two years. How stupid was I to believe that she had finally given us a shot? She told my parents it was my fault, that I spent too much time at work and away from her that she felt lonely."

  "What a bitch, how dare she?"

  "Yeah, Lisa went crazy and tried to hit her but I stopped it. You know what the funny thing about it is?" he asks looking ashamed.

  "No, what?" I reach out and take his hand, neither of us have drank the coffees, they're both sitting on the table.

  "I still loved her, I thought we could still make it work. My parents begged me to divorce her, I told them no, that I was going to try and work things out with her. Two years later I started to put everything in order to divorce her. I knew for my own health that I needed to get away from her."

  "Why did you decide to hire someone? Especially to an event where people know who you are?" It's been on my mind for a while, ever since I found out that he was married.

  "Firstly, it was the company. I hadn't been out with a woman in years and I thought why not. Secondly, I thought it would show her that she doesn't mean anything to me. I knew word would spread back to her." He looks guilty.

  "You wanted a pawn in your game. To get one up on your wife?" I bite out feeling disgusted.

  "Yes, it didn't work out like that, instead I met the woman of my dreams. Fuck, every time you walk into the room my world lights up. You are the light in my dark and I love you more than I ever thought possible."

  "That's all well and good saying that. So, you two were getting a divorce. Why the hell were you at Camden Market together? Why did you let her make me think that you were in a happy marriage?" My voice comes out shaky and my hands begin to tremble.

  "You don't know Val, she's not right. She can be extremely violent. I didn't want her to hurt you so I didn't say anything. It didn't work, she still came after you."

  "Why were you even together?" It makes no bloody sense, he's telling me that he's divorcing her but then he's with her at the market.

  "That was a monumental mistake on my part. She called wanting to discuss the divorce, up until then she had been contesting it. She asked me to meet her in the coffee shop beside the market. She didn't say a word, other than she needs to get Amelia a Christmas present and she'll look in the market." He must see my confused look. “Amelia is her daughter and my niece. It was a ploy and I think she knew that you would be there I just don't know how."

  "I don't understand how would she know where I was? Who I was?"

  "I don't know, Stef, but I've been looking into it. I promise you, I'll find out." He reaches over and caresses my face, his touch igniting my body. "What do you say, Stef, do you forgive me?"

  "I don't know, you hurt me so much," I choke out, he's been open and honest with me it's time I'm the same with him. "I need to tell you a few things."

  He swallows harshly. “Okay." His face is blank, I can't read him.

  "I slept with someone." He looks as though I hit him. “Twice. I regretted it as soon as it happened. God, I hated myself," I tell him honestly, my tears falling again. I hate that I'm so emotional.

  He coughs as though he's trying to find his voice. “Stef..."

  "I know, I was so stupid. I thought it would help me get over you but it didn't. All I kept thinking about was you. God."

  "Stef, don't, okay." He curls his hand around my neck and kisses my head. "I get it, it was a shock that's all." I nod against him. “What else did you want to tell me?"

  I take a deep breath. “Eight weeks ago I had a miscarriage. I lost our beautiful baby," I sob. Telling him is worse than telling Jess. He's the father of our baby, he's going to hate me. I should have looked after the baby but instead I killed him or her.

  "Stef." He pulls me tighter to him and I feel his body shake.

  "No." I pull away from him. “It's my fault our baby died," I cry as I stand up. “I didn't even know about him or her! I should have known. How did I not know? I killed our baby." I crumble to the floor and sob. “I killed our baby," I cry out.

  Strong arms go around m
e and lift me into the air. "Steffy, baby, it wasn't your fault," he whispers into my hair. "It was a tragic accident."

  "No, I drank, I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry," I cry against his chest.

  "Don't, don't you dare apologise to me. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for." He lifts me up so we're face to face, I can see the tears in his eyes, they're slowly falling onto his cheek. "Beautiful, you're not to blame for this." He kisses my lips and it feels so good.

  "Please don't ever say that again. You didn't kill our baby." At the word ‘our’- more tears fall.

  "I'm so sorry," I apologise again.

  "I should have been here for you, you shouldn't have had to deal with this alone." He kisses me once more and I melt into his arms. "I'm so damn sorry, Stef."

  He holds me in his arms for ages. I rest my head against his shoulder, kissing his neck every so often. My legs either side of his as I straddle him trying to get as close to him as I possibly can. I've missed this closeness with him. "God, Stef, I've missed you," he says as I place another kiss on his neck.

  "I've missed you too, so damn much." I kiss him again, this time I suck as I kiss.

  "I love you so much, beautiful." I can feel him getting harder beneath me, I want him so much right now. I grind against him and he moans, I think right now both of us need this.

  I run my hands underneath his t-shirt, scraping my nails against his skin as I do so. He starts to pull at my nipples and they're so sensitive even underneath my jumper and bra. I lean back as he pulls again. "Mmmh..." I moan as I grind against him some more. "James," I beg as I lift up and pull at his zipper.

  He takes the cue and pulls his jeans down as I do the same. I hear the crinkling of a wrapper and wonder where the hell he pulled that from. I begin to kiss him again as he puts the condom on, once it's done I position myself over him, lowering myself onto him. I moan out as he fills me.

  "Fuck, Stef," he calls out as I slam down on him. I lift up and slam down again, the both of us moaning as I do.

  We move together in sync, our moaning is the only thing we can hear as we make love. God, it feels so good. I can feel myself climbing, I'm so close to the end. My movements become erratic as I search for my release. James knows that I'm close, his finger goes for my clit helping me get there. I slam down on him again just as he pinches my clit, setting me off like the fireworks display on Bonfire Night. "James," I call out as I cum. He thrusts into my spent body a few more times before he hits his release.

  "Jesus, Stef, I forgot how amazing everything is with you. I love you." He kisses my head as I lay my head against his chest. Enjoying the fact that I'm back in his arms.

  Chapter Seven

  I've not seen James in a week, not since that day. I don't regret sleeping with him, I just need time to make sure that being with him is the right decision. I've told him that and he understands, but he also hates it. I know that he's been hoping we'd be back together and everything would be hunky dory but I can't do that. I need to be sure this is the right thing for me, for us. I've been texting him every day, so it's not like I've been avoiding him. I just really need to focus on what I truly want.

  I've spoken to Jess about it on multiple occasions. She's back with Hunter. Turns out that Hunter actually wanted Jess and Emme, he thought that Jess had an abortion. They never communicated; add in Hunter's maniac of a mum and you have a recipe for disaster. Hunter's mum had lied to both Hunter and Jess, making them break up and therefore Emme not having her dad around. Instead of talking things through they listened to her and heartache ensued. It's why I'm grateful I gave James the chance to tell his side of the story.

  Jess thinks that I should listen to my heart and be with James. She said the way I talk about him is the way she talks about Hunter. I think a part of me is going to be wary, I don't want to get hurt again. But if I don't try, I think I'll always wonder what could have been. So, when I texted him this morning asking if he was free, thinking it's the weekend and maybe he'd like to do something, he jumped at the chance. He texted me back and said he'd be over in an hour which has caused me to panic; I've greasy hair and I'm in my jammies. So now I'm under pressure to be ready in less than an hour.

  I think it'll be fun to bring him somewhere I'd go, have fun and let loose without any of that stuffiness he's used to. I get dressed into leggings and a jumper dress.With us moving further into November, it's getting colder by the day and I heard on the news that snow’s forecasted for next week. So, it'll be long johns time soon. I hate being cold, I'd rather be on a beach somewhere soaking up the sun.

  The doorbell rings and butterflies start dancing around in my stomach. I wonder if it's going to be like this every time I see him? Rushing to the front door, I don't even look, just open the door. My face goes slack with shock, what the hell is Adam doing here?

  "Hey, sis, long time no see." He has a cocky grin on his face, he's up to something.

  "Yeah, not long enough in my book. What do you want?" I don't open the door, I'm not letting him in.

  "What, can't a guy see his sister without all the agro?"

  I laugh. “Yeah, a normal guy could, but you can't so I'll ask again, what do you want?" I cross my arms over my chest and stare at him, waiting for him to answer.

  "Look, Stef, I came with Dad." All cockiness has gone from him as he hits me with the news.

  "Tell him to go back to whatever rock he climbed out of." I go to close the door in his face but he's too quick. He puts his foot on the threshold and pushes the door back open with his hand.

  "Stef, you have to listen to him. You have to hear him out," he says as he enters my house.

  "The hell I do, I don't need to hear a thing that bastard has to say. Now get the hell out of my house," I yell at him, I’m shaking with anger. How dare he tell me I have to listen to him?

  "Stefanie, stop acting like a brat and let us in for goodness’ sake!" my dad says walking up to the house.

  "Go away, I don't want you here." I'm so close to the edge right now, I don't want either of them here.

  "Don't you think it's time you grew up and acted like an adult?" Dad is a patronizing arsehole. “So why don't we go in and have a civilised conversation?" He barges past me and into the house, pushing me so hard that my back hits off the door handle. Adam follows behind me not even giving me a second glance.

  "You've got to be fucking kidding?" That angry voice belongs to James. Shit, I forgot he was coming. I don't want him here when my dad's here. "Beautiful, are you okay?" He pulls me gently against him.

  "I'm okay, James." I try and reassure him. But I can feel how tense he is, he's not going to let this lie. "James, I promise I'm okay." I try yet again to calm him down.

  "That's good, Steffy, but that doesn't mean he gets to lay a finger on you. Come on, let's get rid of them." He takes my hand and closes the door behind us. Walking into the sitting room, Dad and Adam have made themselves at home, sitting on my recliner armchairs, reclined back and watching the football. "It's time for you to leave," James bites out. I've never seen him like this before. Usually he's so laid-back and placid, now he's like the bloody Hulk.

  "Not going to happen. If anyone here is leaving it'll be you seeing as this is my daughter’s house," Dad snidely tells him and I wish the ground would swallow me up. This is too much for me, I want to crawl back into bed.

  "Funny, Stef's not mentioned you. I thought you upped and left?" I'm in shock, I've not told James anything about my family. He doesn't know that my dad cheated on my mum and as a result my mum killed herself.

  "Now hold on a minute, that's not true!" Dad says getting agitated. "Can I talk to my daughter without you present?"

  "Nope, not going to happen." James pops the p in nope and I want to smile. “See, when you barged into this house without permission you pushed your daughter into the door. Where I'm from, a true man doesn't lay a finger on a woman. Ever."

  Dad starts to stammer as he tries to find something to say. “Dad, whatever the hell it is
that you want to say, say it but James is staying here," I say hoping that he'll hurry the hell up and get out of here and never darken my doorstep ever again. James and I take a seat on the couch. James holding my hand in support.

  "Stef, I've been hearing things about you and your umm... lifestyle." He looks between James and me in disgust. "People have been talking and Tammy and I have been talking. We need you to stop."

  "Stop what exactly?" James bites out, his anger is noticeable. He's waiting for one misstep from either Dad or Adam and he's going to throw them out.

  "Her filthiness." Dad's face turning red with anger and embarrassment.

  "Oh, and what filthiness is that?" I swear I heard a tinge of humour in James' voice, he's enjoying winding my dad up.

  "She's a whore." Adam looks over at me in disgust.

  James is up and over to Adam before I can even stop him. “Say it again, I fucking dare you!"

  "What are you going to do? Hit me?" Adam’s goading him.

  "No, but I will. Hurry the hell up and say what you have to say!" I pull on James' arm to get him to sit back down. "He's not even worth it," I tell him as we sit down.

  "Will you fucking say whatever it is that you think is so damn important. You're pissing me off." James sits forward cracking his knuckles as he does so, he looks like he really wants to punch them.

  "Stefanie, when you became a prostitute did you not think of your family and what the shame would do to us?" Dad looks at me as though I'm nothing but dirt beneath his feet.

  "What family?" I ask, who the hell does he think he is? He's not my family, he hasn't been since the day he walked out.

  "Stefanie, I mean me, Tammy, and Adam. We're your family, you've brought shame on us. Poor Tammy couldn't bring herself to be here today due to it." He's being serious? How the hell can he even say that to me?

  I laugh, I can't help it. They're bloody delusional. "Tammy didn't come today because she won't look me in the eye because she knows that you and her are the reason why my mum is dead. You are not my family, none of you are. Until today I hadn't seen any of you in well over four years. Hell, not one of you turned up to Mum's funeral. So, don't you dare talk about shame when you're the ones I'm ashamed of."