Bad Boy (The All American Boy Series) Page 5
“You’re going to go back to her, aren’t you? After everything that’s happened, you’re a fool, Saxon. A fucking fool.”
“I was a fool for listening to your shit five years ago.”
She shakes her head. “She disappeared for months after you left, Saxon. Months. No one saw her after her mother’s funeral until she was six months pregnant. Why was she hiding?”
“Why the fuck have you got such a hard-on for her? Hmm?” I’m not going to lie, her words have hit me in my gut, but those questions I have are for Bri only. “Jealous that she’s loved and you're not? Or maybe it’s because she’s gorgeous. Whatever the hell your problem is, it ends now.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “And if I don’t?”
I take a step toward her, my height towering over her, she visibly swallows. Good, she’s scared. “If you don’t, I’m going to fucking ruin you.”
“Good luck with that,” she tells me as she takes a step backward, it’s quickly followed by another. “Oh and, Saxon, don’t forget what I said. Something about her disappearance is off. Not to mention how close her and Braxton are. Just make sure you’re not being played.”
I glare at her back as she leaves. She’s not going to stop her shit with Bri. She’s going to regret fucking with us.
Briar… There’s so many fucking questions and I need answers.
Tonight. I’ll get them tonight.
Briar
I can still feel the kiss that Saxon gave me this morning, every so often I catch myself touching my lips. That kiss got to me more than the kiss we shared last night. Last night’s kiss was passionate, we had missed each other, it was hot, heavy, and needy. This morning's one was soft, sweet, and full of promise.
“So it’s true?” Manny asks and I bite back my smile. Manny is one of the chefs here at The Wine Cellar and was friends with Sax before he left.
“What’s true?” I ask with a raised brow.
Manny believed the lies that I was the one that made Sax leave. That I had given him an ultimatum when I discovered that Lila was pregnant. When the truth came out that she lied, he never apologized. I’ve tried to move on but it still hurts that he believed her.
“That Saxon’s back.” He’s got a wide grin on his face, “So is it true?”
I sigh, I should have realized it would be out. “Yeah, it’s true. He came back yesterday.”
He nods, the grin widening. “You two back together?”
I tense at his words. “Why?”
He frowns, “I was just curious. Everyone knows that you two are meant to be together.”
I can’t help the scoff that escapes me. “Everyone? You mean the same people that thought I drove Saxon away, or the ones that truly believe that I had an affair with Braxton.”
He flinches at my words. “I never believed that shit about you and Brax. One look at Sloane and you can tell she’s all Saxon. As for the other shit. I’m sorry, Bri. I truly am. I should have known you would never have done anything like that.”
I relax a little. “Thanks, Man,” I say, giving him a smile.
“You never did answer,” he says with a grin and I know that he wants to know if Sax and I are getting back together. “So?”
I shrug, “I don’t know. There’s so much that’s happened.”
“You’ve spent the five years apart, are you really wanting to spend any longer?” he asks quietly as he places the food onto a hot plate. I stare at him in confusion, what the hell? Why is he being so nice all of a sudden?
“I’m not sure what’s going to happen,” I tell him and reach for the plate. I need to get away, get some distance.
My mind is spinning, I thought coming into work today would give me a chance to think clearly about what’s happened since yesterday. But it’s not, instead, all that fills my head is thoughts of Saxon.
Walking out into the dining area, I walk straight into Lila. Great. Just what I need.
She’s got a stupid smug smile on her face, and I don’t want to listen to whatever the hell she has to say, nothing good ever comes out of her mouth.
“Briar…” she sneers. “Looking plain as always.”
I roll my eyes and push past her to give the customer their food. When I turn back, I see that Lila’s seated in my area, which means that I’m going to have to serve her.
Taking a deep breath, I walk over to her. “What can I get you?” I ask politely with a smile plastered on my face.
“I’ll have the seabass and white wine.” She waves her hand, effectively dismissing me.
I grit my teeth and walk away, hating that she can piss me off within seconds. I give her order to the kitchen and go about getting her white wine. I place her glass down on her table and go to walk away.
Her hand clamps around my wrist and pulls me toward her, “I had a good talk with Saxon today.” That smug smile on her face makes my blood run cold. “God, that man is lethal with his hands.”
I try to pull my arm away from her but it’s no use, she just tightens her hold on me. “He left because of you. He told me so. You would never have let us be together. He doesn’t love you, he never did, that’s why he slept with me.”
I lean in closer to her so that only she can hear me. “You’re a liar, Lila, everyone in this town knows it. Do you really expect me to believe that Saxon would go anywhere near you? He hates you, always has. Even when you had the opportunity, he never had sex with you. You’re pathetic.”
Her fingernails dig into my arm and I bite back the painful cry that’s lodged in my throat. “How much were you looking forward to your little reunion?” Her smile is triumphant now. “I think you and Saxon may be having a talk soon.”
I narrow my eyes on her, what the hell is she talking about?
“I thought it was only right that I informed Saxon about the rumors that had been swirling. Poor goody-two-shoes, doesn’t know who her baby daddy is.”
I gasp, “Why would you do that? Why the hell are you lying?” Tears prick my eyes as I feel something warm on my hand, as the blood trickles down.
“Simply because I can.” She tells me. I hate her. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate this woman in front of me. “Why should you get everything?”
I look at her in disbelief. “Everything? How do I have everything? I lost everything because of you.”
She smiles brightly, “I know, and then you were shunned for being an unwed, pregnant teenager.”
“Only you and your rich cronies shunned me.” I remind her, “Not everyone is as narrow minded as you.”
While the others didn’t shun me, the rich people did and as this town is old and full of money, it means that those rich people have had a hand in making sure that The Wine Cellar was the only place I’d be able to work, they own everything else.
“You’re going to regret crossing me,” she promises me, her nails digging harder into my skin.
I twist my arm and try to get away from her but it’s of no use, her grip is too hard. “I haven’t crossed you and nothing you can do is going to be as bad as what you’ve already inflicted on me and my daughter.”
She leans in further to me. “Just wait and see,” she hisses and finally releases my arm.
I move toward the bathrooms, when I enter the stall, the tears fall. I look down at my arm and see the blood pooling from the fingermarks that she left in my arm.
God, it’s not even midday yet. I have three more hours left to work.
I need this day over and done with already.
Saxon
It’s been a long ass fucking day. Brax never returned and I’ve dealt with asshole after asshole wanting to know what’s going to happen between Bri and I. Asking if I’m staying and if I intend to make an honest man out of Briar. Then the other pricks, asking if we’re going to have a paternity test for Sloane.
I want to know why so many fucking assholes believe that my brother is the father of my daughter. That shit is burning deep in my brain and no matter how hard I try and
push it aside, it comes flooding back. I see the closeness between them, the way he holds her close when he hugs her and kisses her forehead.
It’s almost seven in the evening and I’m starving. I told Bri I’d be over this evening. I want to see Sloane and get to know her, from what I’ve seen she’s an amazing little girl. Briar’s done a great job at raising her.
I throw my leg over the bike and turn the key, the vibrations of the engine go through my body and it grounds me. Being on my bike is what I love, and right now, I need to drive around for a while to calm down. The last thing I need to do is talk to Bri when I’m feeling like this; I’m trying to rein in my temper. I’m trying to win her back, not push her further away.
An hour later and I pull up outside Bri’s house. My anger is still bubbling below the surface but I’m keeping it locked away. I need to talk to Bri, we need to have an honest conversation and get everything out in the open.
The front door opens before I even hit the porch, the light from inside, illuminates Briar as she stands in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. She looks tired. Her beautiful eyes are full of sadness, and I want to do everything in my power to make her happy again. My gaze travels from her face down her body. She’s wearing an oversized sweater that hits her mid-thigh, her legs are covered in yoga pants and her feet are bare. Even dressed down, she’s still the most gorgeous woman I have ever met.
“Hey,” she says softly with a shy smile.
“Hey, baby, you okay?” My hand reaches for the loose strand of hair that’s falling from her messy bun and I push it behind her ear, my fingers skimming her cheek.
“Yeah, I’m just tired.” She glances behind her and then back to me. “Sloane’s in bed.”
Ah shit. “Really?”
She nods, her tongue darting between her lips and coats her bottom lip. “Yeah, it’s after eight, Sax, she’s got school in the morning. She waited for you this evening.” There’s no anger in her voice just sadness and it fucking kills me to hear her sound so defeated.
“I didn’t think, I’m sorry. I was working until seven and then I went for a ride.”
She sighs as she leans into the door, “You said that you’d be here and Sloane overheard. She kept looking toward the door waiting for you.”
She’s killing me.
“I’m sorry, is she asleep?”
She moves back and holds the door open for me. “I’ll check,” she tells me as she closes the door behind us. “You can sit in the sitting room, I won’t be long.” She points in the direction of the room and walks down the hall toward the bedrooms.
A couple of minutes later, she returns, my head turns in her direction and she crooks a finger at me. I instantly follow her. She leads me down the hall and into the door on our right. “She’s asleep, but you can go in and see her.”
She pushes the door open wider and I look into my daughter’s bedroom, I don’t hesitate in walking into her room and over to her bed. Her eyes are closed as she hugs a teddy bear close to her face. My chest tightens as I get a closer look at the teddy, the ratty old bear has me glancing over my shoulder at Bri. She’s watching me closely.
I gave that teddy bear to Bri when I was sixteen, I knew she was the girl for me. I didn’t have any money, my parents wouldn’t give me any either, dad had fucking drunk it all away. I was pissed, I ended up stealing the bear from Mrs. Bakers store. The old woman knew what I did and didn’t say anything. I wanted to give her the world, but instead she got a stolen teddy.
The thing about Bri is she loved that teddy more than anything, she didn’t give a fuck that it was stolen or that I couldn’t give her anything else. She told me all she wanted was me and now she had something that she could hold at nights that was mine. I knew at that moment that this girl was special, she was perfect. To know that she still has it, it makes my heart soar, her giving it to our daughter, just proves what kind of woman she is. She gave our daughter a piece of me, when I wasn’t here.
I drop to my knees as my hand gently strokes her hair. God, I never thought I could love another person so undoubtedly, but as soon as I saw her I knew that there’s no way that I’m ever walking away.
“Daddy,” Sloane whispers as she opens her eyes. “You’re here.” She smiles at me.
“Yeah, darlin’, I’m here. I’m sorry I’m late,” I tell her, hating that I made her think that I wasn’t coming. “Go to sleep,” I tell her and her eyes widen, “I’ll be here to see you tomorrow,” I promise.
She relaxes, her eyes growing heavy, “See you tomorrow, Daddy.”
I kiss her forehead. “Night, darlin’.”
She smiles as her body sinks further into the bed. “Love you,” she mumbles before finally falling back to sleep.
I’m not sure how long I stay here, on my knees, watching as she sleeps, her little chest rising and falling as she sleeps. A hand lands on my shoulder and I turn to face Bri. “Come on, let her sleep,” she says softly as not to wake Sloane up.
I let her help me to my feet and follow her out of Sloane’s bedroom and into the sitting room. “Are you hungry?” she asks me.
I’m fucking starved. “Did you eat?”
She shakes her head. “I know that we have to talk and I’m not sure that I could eat and have this conversation.”
My jaw clenches at her words. “I’m ordering us a pizza, you need to eat, Bri. We’ll talk and then we’ll eat. No matter what happens, we’re in this together.”
She sighs as she sinks down beside me on the sofa. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough for this,” she confesses.
I want to pull her into my arms and hold her, but I can’t, we need to talk and I know her better than she knows herself. She needs some space to breathe and think. “Talk to me, baby, what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
“I love you, Sax, I always have.” She begins and even though her words should be making me jump for joy, her tone of voice is fucking defeated. I hate this shit. I did this to her, to us. “But, I can’t trust you.”
And there it is the words that put more distance between us than any miles could have.
“I didn’t fuck her,” I tell her, pissed at this fucking situation.
She glares at me, “I know that, Saxon, I fucking know that.” She shakes her head, the tears welling in her eyes. “But you betrayed me.”
“I didn’t fucking sleep with her,” I repeat.
“There’s more than one way to betray someone. You woke up next to a naked woman, while you were also naked. I was your girlfriend Sax, you should have told me.”
Fuck!
“What would you have done if I had told you?” I ask and she blinks. “If I had told you that I had woken up butt naked next to a woman, would you have believed me when I said that I couldn’t remember anything?”
She bites her lip, “I don’t know, I really don’t. But you never gave me the chance, Sax. When you decided to keep it from me, you threw us away.”
“I fucked up, haven’t you ever made a mistake?”
Guilt flashes in her eyes and she turns her face away. “Yes.”
“I was a dumb, fucking teenager, I’ve changed a hell of a lot, I’ve become a different man. I’m no longer that boy you used to love.”
Tears slowly fall down her face, “I’m not the girl that you loved.”
“No, you’re the woman that I love.” I let her know that she’s the one that I want, no matter what.
“I can’t just forget it, Sax, I’m not sure I ever will. I don’t want to always think that you’re lying or hiding things from me.” She’s being truthful and I respect that. “But before I can even think about moving forward I have some questions.”
“Ask them, and I’ll be asking the questions I have for you.”
She nods, “Why did you leave?”
Fuck, of course she goes in for the hardest question.
“My head was fucked up, Bri. I’m not going to lie, it still is. I think it always will be,” I say hones
tly. “Growing up the way that Brax and I did, it fucking marks you in ways that no one can see. Deep in my fucking soul.”
The memories of my dad beating the crap out of my mom, and then us too. He always made sure that we knew that we were trash; the sons of the town drunk, the poor kids from the wrong side of town. He made certain we understood the way of life, that no matter what we did, we would always be trash. It’s been ingrained in me for a long time and when Lila said she was pregnant it hit me then that my dad was right, I was trash. I had hurt the woman that was the only thing in my life that was pure, that was perfect, that made me feel as though I deserved more.
Until I fucked it up. I fucked us up.
Her tears fall thicker and faster as she listens to what I’m saying.
“When I heard that Lila was pregnant, I was furious. I knew in that moment things would change, I couldn’t push my demons aside anymore. They were clawing at me and I had to go.”
She nods, she knows that my fucking life was shit before her. “Where did you go?”
“I headed east, I wanted to put as much distance between me and this fucking town.”
She’s silent for a while and I leave her be. “What did you do?”
I know what she really means so I am truthful when I answer. “I fucked around a lot. I’m not going to lie, I thought I could get over you.”
The look of hurt on her face guts me and I hate that I keep hurting her, but I know for us to move on, I need to get this out there.
“It didn’t work, the booze and the women, none of it worked. I have always loved you, Bri, and I always will.”
She stares at me, tears clinging to her eyelashes, “I’m so scared.”
My heart sinks at her words. Are the rumors true? Is there more to her and Brax than what they’ve let on?
“Tell me, whatever it is, Bri, tell me.”
I hold my breath as I wait for her to say whatever it is that she’s been holding in.
Briar
I look at the man I love and see the worry in his eyes. He’s been open and honest with me this evening and I honestly didn’t think he would, I thought he would have kept me at arm’s length. Now it’s my turn.