Deadly Obsession Page 2

  “Here you go Sweets. Sugar, for you. No need to be rushing to the store.” Her eyes tear up, and she looks around, her eyes scanning the place.

  “I lied, I don’t need sugar, but I don’t want to talk about it.” I nod. I accept that. It’s truthful, and she doesn’t know me. Not yet anyway.

  “Okay Winter, I will give you that play for now. But know this, I will get to know every single one of your secrets. I will get you to trust me. Winter, I see the pain and fear in your eyes, I want to kill whoever put it there.” One solitary tear slips down her face, and I watch it slowly trail down her cheek. I desperately want to wipe it away, but I know I can’t get near her.

  “Thank you, please don’t tell Sophia or Nathan about what happened.” Her voice is still shaky, but her face has color in it.

  “I won’t, but I’m next door. You get scared? You want someone to talk to, my place is open for you okay? Give me your phone, and I’ll put my number in it, and you can call or text me too if you need me” She hands over her phone with no arguments, and I try and fight my smile as she bites her lip looking adorably confused. I call my number from her cell and program my number into her cell. “Okay Sweets, all done.”

  “Thank you, Sam.” She has a tiny smile on her face, she looks so beautiful, I hate that she’s been hurt.

  “Do you want to come with me to dinner? I’ll be leaving from here anyway, and I’ll be coming home. It’s up to you. I want you to be comfortable around me, but I don’t want to rush you.” She has a huge smile now.

  “That would be amazing, thanks, Sam. What time would you want me to be ready?” I must have some sappy look on my face.

  “We’re meeting everyone at 7:00 so can you be ready for 6:30?” I ask. I hope she can, it will give me thirty minutes alone with her.

  “Yeah I can be ready at 6:30. I’ll see you then.” With that, I leave her apartment, with a smile on my face.

  Chapter Two

  Winter

  He’s so nice and sweet, I can’t believe I had a panic attack in front of him.

  I took a nap and dreamt of the attack, I couldn’t help but need to get out, I needed air. I haven’t had a panic attack in a year before the prank calls started coming in, now I get them regularly. I have an hour to be ready cause we’re meeting up with Luke, Scott, Nathan, and Soph. I’m not sure who else will be there. I’m so glad that Maddie won’t be around, yes I know it’s irrational thinking my attack was her fault, but I can’t help it, I'm not sure if I will ever agree with Soph and think it wasn’t her fault. When Soph was in the hospital, Maddie made it even harder for me to forgive her.

  Want to know the funny thing? I’m twenty-seven years old, and I’ve had sex with five people.

  I don’t count my assault as sex.

  That shouldn’t count.

  I know people think that the way I act and the way I dress I’m a slut, that I’m a liar, just because I like male attention, doesn’t mean I deserved to be violated. I hate that Maddie made me feel like I was a whore. She made me feel cheap and dirty. My insecurities and fears after the attack did a good enough job of making me feel that way without one of my best friends adding to it.

  I’ll forever be grateful to Sophia and Skye; they have been with me every step of the way. They texted, e-mailed and called me constantly. I owe Sophia more than I will ever be able to repay. Her encouragement and absolute blind faith in me gave me the courage to attend SOAR. I listened to other woman tell their stories, it took me until the last day to feel safe in confiding in Kathy.

  Kathy is the only person who knows every detail of my assault, I know Sophia deserves to know the truth, but I don’t want her to see me anything other than Winter.

  *****

  I’m dressed in my favorite black skinny jeans. I love them because they make my ass look amazing. I put on a fitted pink tank and a pair of matching Jimmy Choo’s. My outfit kicks ass. It took a while after I stopped self-medicating with alcohol to realize that it didn’t matter what I wore - I still would have been raped. So if me dressing nicely is going to make me feel beautiful and sexy, when 99% of the time I feel dirty and used, then I will wear whatever I want.

  There’s a knock on my door, and I get butterflies in my stomach. Sam is here. Earlier, when I first opened the door, I thought it was Soph, so I opened it wearing my pajamas. Then I saw this handsome man that had a dark edge to him. He looked kind of scary.

  I open the door to find Sam with a massive smile on his face. He should smile more often, he doesn’t have the dark look when he does. His big blue eyes stare at me, and I could get lost in them, they’re so gorgeous. He hasn’t shaved so he has slight stubble and his blonde hair is a mess--almost like he has ran his fingers through it countless times. He’s wearing a fitted shirt that shows off his muscular physique. His jeans are dark and hug his thighs. The man looks freaking lethal.

  I look back to his face to see he hasn’t noticed that I was checking him out; he’s too busy checking me out.

  I cough. “Hi.”

  His eyes shoot to my face, and his smile grows even more. “Hi, you look gorgeous, Sweets.” Why does he call me Sweets? I want to laugh and hide as his eyes roam over my body again. Although I love the attention, I can’t help but feel vulnerable.

  “Thanks.” I feel awkward. I don’t know how to be friends with a man. It’s been a long time since I have been with one and I feel vulnerable. It’s almost as if Sam can see into my soul.

  I feel kind of safe around him, and I haven’t felt truly safe around anyone except Sophia in nearly four years. Yes, I feel somewhat safe around Nathan and Skye, but Soph has always been there for me.

  “You ready, Sweets?” I just nod, and he smiles at me. I want to see him smile more often.

  “Why do you call me Sweets?” I had to ask, he’s been constantly calling me it. I watch as he grins. It’s an almost child-like grin. Full of mysteriousness and cheekiness.

  “Now Sweets, that would be cheating. Come on let’s go.” That’s the end of that conversation, but he still has that amazing smile on his face.

  I grab my bag and keys, and as I’m about to walk out the door, he takes a step back so he's not too close. My heart skips a beat. I turn and my heart races, but not from fear. It speeds up with anticipation. It's a feeling I haven't felt in so long that it terrifies me. We walk down to the car in silence. He keeps glancing at me as if he has something to say, but he remains quiet. When we get to his truck, he holds the passenger door open for me.

  Such a gentleman.

  *****

  We’re on our way to Johnnie’s, a place where they serve great food and have a great atmosphere, I like it because it’s not overcrowded and I can relax a bit.

  “So, are you okay?” I turn and look at him, he’s glancing between me and the road. I don’t understand why he would think I wasn’t okay. I must look confused because he says, “I meant after earlier and all, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Damn, my heart skips at his statement.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you.” I really am thankful to him. It usually takes me at least an hour to calm down after my one of my dreams.

  “Winter, why are you thanking me?” he looks really confused.

  “You calmed me down when you didn’t have to. You could have kept walking, but you took the time to take care of me instead. Now you’re asking if I’m okay. It’s really sweet of you so thank you.” I say honestly.

  “Winter, you never have to thank me for taking care of you.” He growls. He looks as though he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. We’ve reached Johnnie’s, and our conversation is over. I’m not sure whether or not I’m disappointed, but the feelings I have around Sam are confusing me. I don’t think I am ready for a relationship; hell, I don’t think I’m ready for a friendship.

  We walk into Johnnies, and I realize we’re not the only ones here. I’m happily surprised to find Skye there. As soon as she spots me, her face breaks into a smile.

  “Sweets, what
do you want to drink?” I jump, he scared me. I was so focused on Skye that I forgot he was behind me.

  “Can you get me a diet coke?” He raises a brow in question, but I don’t want to go into why I don’t drink alcohol.

  “Oh that sounds good, me too Sammy. Thanks.” I could kiss Skye right about now, Sam just shakes his head and walks towards the bar.

  “I heard Sam ask you what you wanted to drink and I saw the way your body tensed. Don’t worry Winter, I’ll drink diet coke with you.”

  I want to cry; how did I get so lucky to find a friend like Skye?

  “Skye, you honestly don’t have to do that. Just have this one. I don’t mind telling him I don’t drink alcohol. If someone thinks that is weird, then that’s their problem.”

  She has a big smile on her face. “Okay, thanks. So what’s going on between you and Sam?” she asks me, leaning in further waiting for me to divulge all the details.

  “Skye, Sam is my neighbor, you know after everything I’ve been through I'm not looking for anything. I have too much to work through."

  She shakes her head, her eyes full of sadness. “Don’t say that. You’re an amazing catch, any guy would be lucky to have you.” Skye says as looks over my shoulder, I know that look. It’s the look that Soph has when she looks at Nathan. Ryder’s here.

  I look towards the table and see Scott and Luke, I feel eyes on me as I walk towards it. Sam is at the bar staring at me. I turn back to the table and see that Ryder is also observing me. So is Oscar. As I reach the table, Luke and Scott both stand, but Luke reaches me first. The boys are like my brothers. I was in their house so much growing up, and I’ve missed them. They always know how to cheer me up.

  They both kept in contact with me while I was in Maui. They never directly asked what happened, but they always asked how I was doing.

  Luke pulls me into a hug and my body freezes. He doesn’t notice, thank God.

  “Damn Wints. It’s so good to see you. You’ve been gone too long.” I love Luke.

  “It hasn't been that long since I last saw you, I was here six months ago. But I missed you too, you goofball.”

  He kisses my cheek as he pulls me closer to him. “Honestly, Wints, I’m so glad you’re home.” I nod at him, he smiles.

  Scott walks over and puts his arms around me and lifts me off the floor. I don’t tense since I expect it. “I don’t care; you’re not leaving again. You’re home now. We will talk about why you left. I’ve been trying to get Soph to tell me what happened, but she won’t. All she will say is that you had been hurt and had to go and heal. I let her have her secrets because I know my sister and she won’t tell me unless you let her. But you, Wints? You’re my sister, too. I watched you grow up. You should have been able to come to me. I let you down and for that I’m sorry, I hope you can forgive me.”

  I feel like crying. I never told anyone because I was ashamed. I felt as though people would think I deserved it. I was a massive flirt, and I thought they would believe I led him on. I never wanted anyone to feel guilty except the bastard who did it.

  I look up at Scott, and a tear slips out of my eye. When he reaches up to wipe it, I flinch. I don’t mean to, it’s my body’s natural reaction now. I see his jaw tick.

  “Please don’t feel guilty about what happened. You shouldn’t feel guilty. I honestly haven’t told Soph everything about that night. One day I will tell you, but right now I’m not ready. I don’t know when that day will come, so please don’t beat yourself up.” He looks torn. He hates not being able to protect people he cares about, and I love him for that. He has such a sensitive heart, which is why he and Soph get along so well.

  “Oh my God! Bitch, get the fuck over here!” My head shoots to my left and I see my best friend, looking gorgeous, wearing almost the exact same thing as me - except her tank is black, and she’s wearing Christian Louboutin’s.

  I start walking towards her, we meet in the middle and hug the ever-loving shit out of each other. Leaving Soph is always the hardest thing I have to do. She has always been the constant person in my life, even when she was at Basic then at AIT, she always kept in contact.

  "Oh, hon, it's so good to see you! I've missed you so much. I'm so glad you're home! I know it isn't what you wanted and I know you're scared, but Wints, no one is going to hurt you again." I look at her, and she looks different, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.

  “I know, I’m glad to be home too. I really am. It was going to happen sooner or later. It was a bit sooner than I thought, but hey, I get to see my best friend, my godson and my nephew so I can’t be upset.” I smile at her; she hugs me again.

  I hear a cough and turn to look at a smiling Nathan who is holding his arms open for me--giving me a choice. He never touches me unless I let him and I love him for that. I run into his arms, and he squeezes me.

  “Hey, you. How was the flight?” I giggle. He’s the only person who has asked me about the flight. Both he and Soph were upset that they couldn’t pick me up from the airport since they were both busy so Skye was the one who got me from the airport.

  Nathan is great at making me forget everything by talking about all the small things. He has been great since the very first time I met him. “Long and boring. How are you, Nath?”

  He smiles at me. “I’m great Winter. You’re coming over tomorrow to see the kids, yeah?” I nod, I can’t wait. It’s been six months since I saw them last. We all walk over to the table, Nathan sits beside Scott and Soph takes the seat beside him, leaving the only seat open beside Sam. He smiles at me, and I can’t help but smile back.

  The server comes over to the table and asks what we want to drink. The men and Skye order beer and I start to feel anxious. I know that there are people at this table who love and adore me. I can’t help but feel as though they are staring at me. I don’t want to be stared at. I feel as though they would judge me. I didn't realize my leg was shaking until I felt a hand on mine under the table. I look at Sam, but he's talking to Ryder. As I continue to stare, he begins rubbing circles on the back of my hand. He never stops his conversation, but I know he's doing this to calm me.

  “Can I get a glass of water, please.” My head swings to Sophia, but her attention is on the server. Why is she getting water? She doesn’t have the kids tonight. She must sense me staring at her because her eyes swing to mine and she smiles. I know that smile. Soph has a secret, and I’ll know it by the end of the night. I see the server turn to me.

  “Can I also get a glass of water please.” She nods - collects the menus and leaves. I sigh in relief as everyone continues to talk amongst themselves. I watch as Nathan leans down and whispers something into Soph’s ear. She seems to melt into him. She nods and he leans in to kiss her forehead. I look away, leaving them to their private moment.

  “Are you okay?” I turn my head toward Sam when he speaks, he looks worried.

  I nod and smile at him. “Yeah, I’m okay, thank you. I seem to keep panicking around you. I swear it’s never usually this bad.” He stops rubbing circles and places his hand fully over mine and curls his fingers and squeezes.

  “Sweets, you never have to apologize to me, I don’t like that you panic, but I sure as hell like that I can calm you down.” I must have a confused look on my face, I don’t get why he said that. “Don’t worry about it, just relax. Enjoy the night.” I nod, his hand is still covering mine, but I don’t feel the tightening in my chest when he touches me.

  *****

  Everyone is having a good time. The last time Soph was home on leave from the Army we went to a club, and we met up with a few of her teammates. Oscar and Ryder were there. I was loud and drunk, and I think they hated me on sight. They seem to welcome me today though because they are both talking to me, asking about my time in Maui.

  I need to use the restroom. As I stand, so does Soph. I smile as we head to the restrooms. Once we’ve finished peeing and while we’re washing our hands, I notice Soph keeps glancing at me.

 
“Are you okay Soph?” She’s making me feel uncomfortable.

  She sighs as she dries her hands. I walk over and do the same, she finally talks as I’m finished drying them. “You look better, yet you seem the same.”

  I’m confused, how does that even make sense? “Cryptic much, Soph?”

  She laughs and shakes her head. “I see my beautiful best friend back, not drunk or just half living, she’s here. She’s alive and so fucking beautiful.” I smile at her; my throat is clogged up with emotion. “But your eyes are still the same, those beautifully amazing brown eyes, they’re still full of hurt and fear. They are painful to look at. I want to dull that pain, but I don’t know how, and that sucks hon. How do I help you?”

  “Oh, Hon, you have helped me so much already. It’s because of you that I am able to be here sober, that I am able to function without self-medicating. It’s because of you I am able to put one foot in front of the other. You are the reason I have this strength. It will take a while, but I will get there, the pain will dull, and I will be able to think about what happened without it hurting, but it takes time.”

  She has tears spilling down her face as she pulls me in for a hug. “I will be here every step of the way. I will be here for you to cry or rant or scream, whatever you need I am here. I’m going to be here when you decide it’s time for me to know the whole story with no judgment and no pity, just one hundred percent love and support.”

  I nod, I can’t speak. The tears I had been keeping at bay are falling down my face. I take a deep breath. “I love you, Soph. I will tell you everything one day soon.” I promise her, and I see the disappointment in her eyes as well as relief. She holds me against her once more. We both wipe our faces and clean up. We don’t want everyone asking what happened.