The Scandals of Life Read online

  “Dami?” I mouth to Jess, she calls him Dami? Jess shrugs, not having a clue where that came from.

  Katy bursts into tears. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, I never meant to cry.”

  “Hey, come and sit down,” Jess tells her as she stops recording and Saff grabs one of the bottles she found before she sits down beside her. “Katy, are you okay?”

  Saff hands her a glass filled to the top with wine. Katy doesn’t even hesitate, she takes a big gulp. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your evening.”

  “Pish, you haven’t. What’s going on?” Saff waves her hand in the air dismissively. “Katy?”

  “It’s so stupid; it’s been months, I shouldn’t be crying at the drop of a hat.” She’s talking to herself, she looks devastated.

  “What happened, Katy?” Saffron’s no longer shouting, she’s got tears in her eyes.

  “My brother died. I really am sorry for crying.” She shouldn't be apologising. I rummage through my handbag and find a pack of tissues, handing her one she continues. “I feel terrible, I shouldn't be crying. Today's meant to be happy."

  "Oh, Katy, I'm so sorry. What happened to him?" Saff reaches over and takes her hand offering her comfort.

  "He was stabbed. So stupid. We told him not to join that gang but he went ahead and joined the Ndz crew. What a stupid bloody name." Wiping her eyes with the tissue I gave her. “The turf war for Camden started, it was carnage. We wouldn't sleep until we heard him come home." Rawness is all I hear, she's hurting so badly as she tells.

  We're all silent waiting for her to tell her story. My heart is breaking for her right now; I can't even imagine what she's going through.

  "The Blud Cripz. God, they were relentless. They want to run North London and they're not letting anyone get in the way. I hate them! Why the youths think that walking around with a knife is a sensible idea is beyond me."

  My heart starts to speed up and I give Jess a sideways glance. Fuck, I hope to God she doesn't find out Owen was a member of The Blud Cripz. Although he's no longer with them, he has TBC tattooed on his chest. Jess hates it, she hated it when he joined the gang. We’ve known about TBC for years. They were recruiting in our secondary school when Jess and I were there. Wanting young kids to join and be their drug runners. They’d scare them so they wouldn’t grass on them if they got caught. Owen joined them when he needed money. Up until then he steered clear of gang business and was friends with a few of the members.

  “The worst part?” Katy struggles to hold her composure. “Mickey lay dead in that alley for over three hours. Three hours before someone found him. He was all alone.” Tears begin to fall, not just from Katy but from us all. Hearing her tell us her pain, even though we don’t know her, is horrible. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

  “Ugh, I’m so sorry. I think it was the run-in I had with the she-devil that brought me down. I was so geared up and looking forward to this. I truly am sorry, Saffron.”

  “What she-devil?” Jess and I ask simultaneously.

  “Ugh, your brother’s girlfriend. She’s a bitch. How he even puts up with her, I’ll never know.” At least the anger of what this cow did to her has taken over and she’s no longer crying. She’s made me cry enough already, I can’t take much more.

  “Owen’s dating someone? Who?” Jess demands, looking slightly annoyed that she’s not been told.

  I notice Saff’s face start to heat; she knows exactly who it is. “Saff?” I ask hoping that she’s not really a bitch and that she was having an off day.

  “Layla,” Saff whispers.

  “Yes, that was the cow's name. She’s a bit old for him, isn’t she?” Jealousy evident in Katy’s voice; seems like Katy has a thing for Owen.

  “Saff, how long?” Jess is mad as hell. I know that she and Layla hated each other; hate is mild for what they have. Layla was a bitch, she made Jess’ life hell when she worked at Pleasure Palace. She bullied Jess and Saffron because they are prettier and younger than her.

  “I don’t know, Jess, I only found out yesterday. If Damien finds out she’s in the club he’s going to go mental,” Saff tells her quietly. “When I found out she was back, I asked the girls if she had spoken to any of them and they said she told them that she’ll be back working there soon.”

  "That cow. What the hell is wrong with her?" Jess demands as she starts typing away furiously on her phone; she's either texting Hunter, Owen, or Damien. God help whoever is on the receiving end of those messages.

  "Wait, she's not going to work there?" Katy asks hopefully.

  "Hell no, the only way she may have a job there is if Damien sells and that's not going to happen!" Jess says vehemently. She's not even looking at us, her eyes are glued to her phone. "I've messaged Owen, turns out the cow didn't even say she knew me. She pretended she'd never heard of Saff either." She seems to be calming down a bit.

  "Good, now, Jess, I have something I want to ask you." As we all look at Saff, her cheeks begin to heat; she's getting embarrassed. "Do you think Si would walk me down the aisle?"

  Jess gasps as tears come to my eyes. Asking Jess' fifteen-year-old brother to walk her down the aisle is so sweet. Si is going to jump at the chance, he loves Saff, then again who doesn't. She's the sweetest woman ever.

  "He'd love to, Saff. He'll be honoured to." Jess smiles and I watch as Saff's face lights up, happy that she'll have him walking her down the aisle.

  "So, Stef, any names picked yet?" Saff asks me, and although we'd said we'd like Carter, I'm not 100% sure of it. There are a few other names I like but until I see him, I won't know for sure. "You're not going to tell us, are you?"

  I smirk. “Nope, you're going to have to wait and find out."

  Saff narrows her eyes. “Fine, so, Jess, are you going to tell us when you find out what you're having?"

  It's Jess' turn to smirk. “Nope, Hunter and I have decided to keep it a surprise." I know Jess, there's no way she's not going to find out. When she says surprise she means from the rest of us.

  "So, Saff, are there babies in Damien's and your future?" Jess' being extremely nosy. “Have you spoken about it?"

  Saff looks extremely uncomfortable. “No, we haven't." She shuts down the conversation. “What's next on the agenda?" She fills both Katy's and her wine glasses and I'm actually surprised that they've somewhat sobered up.

  "What do you want to do?" Jess asks looking at her phone; I catch a glimpse of her screen and see its 00:42. "Damien will be home soon," Jess tells her and I’m pretty sure it’s because she has nothing else planned. When Jess told me about tonight she told me it would be over by midnight.

  Saff perks up at that and I know that it's time to leave soon. I text James so he can start making his way over here. I'm still mad and I don't think I'm being unreasonable. Actually, I think he's being disrespectful.

  "I think we all need to have these nights more often," I tell them and each one of their faces radiate hope and happiness. "We should do it once a month, catch up, gossip, and have fun."

  "That sounds amazing, especially when the babies come, we'll need the break. God knows I’ll need…” Before Jess can finish her sentence, we hear the door opening and a surprised-looking Damien walks in.

  “Hey, we’re leaving,” Jess tells him getting to her feet. “Thanks for leaving for the night.” She reaches out and helps me out of the chair.

  “Dami, give the girls a lift home?” Saff asks him, batting her eyelashes.

  “We’re all going in the same direction; I’ll get James to drop the girls home.” No way is he wanting to give anyone a lift home with the way he’s staring at Saffron, plus having the girls in the car will save me from having to talk. “Come on, girls, let’s get a move on, leave these two lovebirds to it.”

  We say our goodbyes and wait outside for James to arrive. “Go easy on him, Stef, it’s going to take a while for those instincts for him to help her vanish.” Jess pulls me into her arms. “You’re under enough stress as it is, you don’t nee
d to add this to it. Let it go.”

  I look over at Katy who’s on the phone as I pull away from Jess. “I know but I feel as though it’s disrespectful; he should have at least spoken to me about it first before he made any decisions. I feel as though he doesn’t see me as a partner. I feel as though she’s always going to come between us.” Telling her my ultimate fear hurts. I never thought I’d ever let something like this happen; have someone else in my relationship. I know she shouldn’t be but no matter what, she is, and I believe she always will be. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

  “Stef, don’t do that, don’t think like that.” James’ car pulls up and Jess grabs hold of my hand. “Deep breaths and relax, don’t do or say anything that you’ll regret.”

  She’s right, I’m going to keep quiet and look out the window. I don’t want to say anything that will start an argument or be something I regret.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I’m lying in bed, wondering if I should get up or wait until James does. We didn’t speak last night at all. I came home and crawled into bed, he followed not long after and I pretended to be asleep. I really didn’t want to get into it then and I sure as fuck don’t want to now. I’m still so mad and I know it’s not fair to keep the silence going. I feel as though I need to get rid of this anger that I have so we can have a proper conversation without me jumping down his throat.

  I feel a hand on my stomach before it tentatively caresses my bump. “Talk to me, beautiful, you wouldn’t talk last night. Instead you came straight to bed and faked sleep.” His voice thick with sleep.

  “I didn’t want to argue, I still don’t.” Just thinking about it makes me mad.

  "Please talk to me." I hate that he's begging but I honestly don't know if I can without either crying or getting mad at him. "Steffy."

  "What? What is it that you want from me?" I bite out.

  "Talk to me," he demands, his voice low and unsure. He's not used to this. Before, with Valerie, it was her evilness that came out during arguments. He should know that's not me, I wouldn't do that. "Please, beautiful, talk to me."

  I sit up in bed and pull the covers up. I feel vulnerable; there's nothing worse than airing your fears. "It was disrespectful. You spending money and time on her without talking to me is disrespectful. It's not about the money, that's your money, but we're supposed to be in a relationship and throughout this you never thought of me."

  "Stef..."

  I don’t let him talk, I’m on a roll. "No, you didn't. If you had, you would have sat down with me and spoken to me. The fact you went behind my back just shows the lack of respect you have." I'm not as angry as I thought I’d be, I'm extremely disappointed and you can hear it clearly in my voice.

  "Beautiful, that's not true. It's fucking far from it. I respect you more than any other woman and yes, that includes my mum."

  I'm shocked; he respects his mum a hell of a lot.

  "Yeah, I see that you understand what I'm saying. Stef, not only are you beautiful inside and out, you're kind, caring, and compassionate. Do you remember the first night we met?" He moves closer to me and although the bitchy side of me wants to move, I don't. Instead I just look at him wondering what the hell he's getting at.

  "We met outside the coffee shop across the road from the hotel, where the gala was. I was nervous as hell. I hadn't done this in a long time; you put me at ease straight away. You made some really stupid joke; I honestly don't remember what it was. All I remember thinking was how beautiful you were and I didn't care if people knew I had paid for you, you were totally worth it."

  I laugh and it gives him the encouragement to put his arms around me.

  "Since that day, you've been nothing but a blessing to me. You showed me what love really is. You restored my faith in women and you restored me. You brought me out of the shell I was in and, beautiful, you've done so much more than that too. Every day I'm with you is like a breath of fresh air. I love you more than I ever thought was possible. I respect you and I would never intentionally be disrespectful, not to you, not ever.

  God, that is some speech. I've managed to keep the tears at bay but just barely. "Why? That's what I can't wrap my head around. Why would you even help her?

  "She's my..."

  I interrupt him. “She's your what? Your ex? Tell me something, James, how would you feel if the tables were turned? If I was going all out to help my ex?"

  He shuts down again. God, I hate this, you can’t have an argument without him closing down and being aloof. "Stef, come on, be reasonable. This is different than that. I was married to her for fourteen years, and she’s the mother of my niece." Is he for real? “Stef, you must see that, right?”

  "You know what, James, do whatever you want." There's no point in talking to him, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. I get up out of the bed and walk straight into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

  I can't believe he thinks this is normal, that doing everything he can to help her while he's in a relationship with someone else. I can't take it; the tears fall and I turn on the shower so it drowns out my sobs.

  Walking down to the kitchen over an hour later, I'm wondering where James has gone. When I came out of the shower he wasn't in the bedroom and I couldn't hear anything downstairs. I presumed he was down here but in a strop. As I enter the kitchen, I know for sure that he's not here; his keys that are usually in the bowl on the table are gone. I feel hurt; he's left without even saying a word.

  I make myself a few slices of toast and a cup of tea. Deciding that I'm not going to mope that he's gone. I'm going to write, it's a great way to get rid of the anger that I have and right now I have a lot of it. I walk into the sitting room and put the music channel on; listening to music can spark a scene or even spurn a whole story within me. Starting up the laptop I open up the few documents I have that contain stories. Not sure which one I want to work on today, I decide to read over what I have written and see which one speaks to me.

  Three hours and 5,000 words later, I'm happy with how the story is going. I just hope Jess doesn't mind that I've written about her life. Hearing talking outside, my heart begins to race. Is it James? When I hear the keys in the door, the anger that had disappeared is back in full force. That anger rises when his isn't the only voice I can hear. He's brought someone home when we're in the middle of an argument?

  I look towards the door and within seconds James' head peeps around and he gives me an awkward smile. "Matthew's here," he whispers.

  I raise my eyebrow. What does he want me to do? Roll out the red carpet? Thankfully, I don't let my sarcasm loose, I just stare at him. I know he’s hoping that I don’t kick off, and I won’t. This has nothing to do with Matthew, this is private and that’s the way it’s going to stay.

  "Hey, Stef. How are you doing?" He's got Amelia strapped to his chest and I must admit, when I first met him and everything I was told about what he did, I thought he was a prick but he's actually really nice.

  "I'm good thanks. How's Amelia?" No point in asking how he is, he looks like shit; no doubt Bitch Face is the cause of it.

  "She's settling, which is the main thing. Sorry for stealing James for a couple of hours, we were sorting things out."

  "What things?" It's out before I could stop it.

  "Valerie things," he replies looking uncomfortable and I instantly feel bad for even asking, I shouldn't have. I should have waited until Matthew was gone and asked James although I don't know if he would have told me the truth. “The private investigators should be here any minute."

  I smile as I save my work and close my laptop down. James' eyes on me the whole time. I don't want to be here when the investigators get here and I certainly don't want to be around James at the moment. Leaving my laptop on the table I stand up. “I’ll leave you both to it.” Grabbing my handbag and my keys from the kitchen. I need to get out of here, I can’t listen to this, I can’t act as though this isn’t hurting me. Yet again, he’s gone behind my back to do someth
ing.

  Walking to the front door, I feel James at my back; I ignore him and open the door only to be surrounded by arms. Looking up I see that not only is Matthew here, the rest of James’ family is too.

  “Stefanie, you look glowing!” Sylvie cries as she holds me at arm’s length, taking me in.

  I put on my best smile. “Thank you. I’m really sorry, but I have to run. I’m meant to be meeting someone and I don’t want to be late.” I hate that I’m lying and I know I’m being stupid but right now I can’t listen to them talk about Valerie otherwise I’m going to blow up.

  I quickly rush out of the house and onto the street, I can hear Sylvie talking to James. "What have you done to the poor girl?" I slow down so I can hear, I'm being nosy and I don't care.

  "I've upset her, she thinks me paying the investigator is disrespectful to her." The way he says it is like he thinks I'm crazy.

  "It is. Valerie is a cow, and after everything she's done you're still jumping through hoops for her. You have to realise that she isn't your priority. Stefanie and the baby are and that's the way it should be." Sylvie's really laying into him. “How do you not realise that you’re hurting her? Why are you trying so hard to help Valerie?"

  I don't want to hear the answer, so I speed up; whatever he says is too low for me to hear anyway. I feel somewhat better about how I'm feeling, especially as Sylvie thinks he's out of line too. I decide that a trip to the market is in order. I'll look around and hopefully by the time I get home, everyone will be gone. As I round the corner off my street my phone starts to ring. Pulling it out of my handbag I'm shocked to see it’s Nat. “Hey, you okay?" I ask as soon as I answer.

  "Not really, are you busy?" She sounds as though she's been crying.

  "I'm on my way to the market if you want to join?"

  "I'll be there in fifteen. Thanks, Stef." She hangs up and I'm wondering if it has anything to do with the job she had last night?