The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Read online

  He pulls me into his arms and kisses my head. “Night, baby, love you.”

  He falls to sleep, but dread settles into the pit of my stomach. It’s as though something bad is coming, and I can’t figure out why or what.

  A noise penetrates my sleep, and I groggily open my eyes. It takes me a while to adjust to the darkness. I frown when I see Richie moving. “Richie?” I ask sleepily.

  He looks shocked that he woke me and gives me that beautiful smile of his. “Ssh baby, go back to sleep. I’m just going to the toilet,” he says coming over and pulling the covers up over me. I love when he does this, he always pulls them over me whenever he’s going to the toilet, or if he’s getting up for work, he’ll always ensure that I’m covered so I don’t get cold. He plants a soft kiss on my lips, his lips cold against mine. “Sleep baby, I love you.”

  “Love you too,” I murmur as I close my eyes, I fall asleep before he comes back in, I tried to stay awake but I’m so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

  Chapter 17

  Turning over in bed, I reach my arm out for Richie but instead of his hard body I get thin air. Opening my eyes, I look around the room, Richie’s not here. Sitting up I grab my phone off the bedside table and look at the time, it’s ten in the morning. Jesus, I slept like a log, I remember waking up when Richie was going to the toilet but after that I was dead to the world.

  In my hand, my phone rings, and the readout shows it’s Penelope. Thankfully it’s not my stepdad. The calls have stopped but the letters have increased and he’s even starting to send me flowers. When I first received a bouquet I thought they were from Richie, but when they weren’t I knew they were from my stepdad. I played it off saying they were from Pen. Richie never said anything and I never mentioned it again. Any time I get a new letter or flowers, they go straight into the bin.

  The phone rings again, and I answer it. “Hey, everything okay?”

  “Yes, I just wanted to tell you that David is back in jail.” The relief in her voice has me smiling.

  That ex-husband of hers is an arsehole. I met him last week while I was with Penelope, and he told her that Annalisa dying was her fault. That she was a whore because of what she does. He’s really slimy, and I wonder what the hell Pen saw in him, he’s that creepy. He not only tried it on with Pen, but also with me. Pen told him that he’d better piss off, that he’s not wanted and the sooner he realises that the better. I was so proud of her for standing up to him.

  “That’s brilliant. What did he do?” Both Grant and Pen had told me that it wouldn’t be long until David was back inside, that there was no way he would be able to keep out of trouble or better yet, clean.

  “The arsehole was back to his old ways, he tried to take over the drug scene again. He was caught with enough coke to keep a college party in stock for a year.” The happiness in her voice is so good to listen to, and I don’t blame her for being happy. He’s put her through a lot of shit along with him being the person who gave Annalisa the drugs that she overdosed on.

  “What a knobhead, karma's a bitch and he’ll got what’s coming to him.” I truly believe in karma, sometimes it takes longer for people to get theirs, but it does work.

  “That prick’s karma would be him being shanked in his cell. One can only live in hope.” She’s silent for a moment and I let her be, I can’t imagine what she’s going through. Having David in her life again must have brought up some memories she had buried, feelings that she had buried. Like losing Annalisa.

  “What are you doing this evening? Grant’s working through the night and Richie’s working in Bath next week, will he be gone?” There’s whispering in the background and I’m pretty sure that it’s Grant.

  “Yeah, he’ll be gone tonight for the week, he won’t be back until Saturday, so fancy dinner and a movie?” I ask with a smile, already looking forward to her coming over.

  I’m starting to get uncomfortable as I hear more whispering. “Okay, I’ll be over at seven.” She sounds distracted and I shake my head not wanting to think about what she’s distracted by when Grant softly tells her to hang up. “I’ll see you later Natalie.” She doesn’t wait for me to reply, she hangs up just as she giggles. That’s something I never thought I’d hear from her, a giggle.

  Dropping my phone on the bed, I get up, grabbing my dressing gown off the back of the door and pull it over me. I walk towards the kitchen, Richie’s probably in the sitting room watching telly, not wanting to wake me up when he awoke. As I walk to the kitchen, I’m met by silence, I stick my head into the sitting room and look, there’s no Richie. My heart races when he’s not in the kitchen either. Where is he? My eyes drift to the table and I spot a piece of paper. My legs like lead but I manage to walk over to it and see that Richie’s left me a note. I sigh in relief, wondering what the hell I was panicking about, he’s probably gone to get breakfast.

  Natalie,

  I’m so sorry, I really am. God I don’t want to be writing this letter, I should be upstairs in bed with you. But I’m not, I never wanted to do this to you again. I have to leave, I have to go back to Ireland. I have no choice, I wish I could bring you with me, but I can’t. You’re destined to be amazing, you already are. You finally have your life on track. You’re going to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. I’m so proud of you, of what you’ve achieved, of how brave and courageous you are.

  You’ve overcome so much, those scars you have that run deep, you never show them, you never let anyone see them because you’re a survivor. I’m in awe of you, I’m in awe of how beautiful and brilliant you are. You being in my life has made my life 100 times better, you made me happy.

  I meant what I said last night, I love you. Believe me, I love you with all my heart. Leaving you is the last thing that I want but I have no choice. I wish things could be different, I wish that I could be by your side always.

  Be happy baby, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated like a queen, remember that and don’t ever settle for anything less. It kills me to write this, but I need you to be happy, because you being happy is all I have ever wanted. I made you happy for a while and I’ll cherish those memories forever.

  Maybe one day I’ll see you again.

  All my love

  Richie.

  My knees go weak and I sit down before I fall down. I read the note four times before a lone tear falls. He’s done it again, how on earth am I this fucking stupid? Why is it that I let this man break my heart yet again? I can’t believe that I was so gullible. I’m stunned, I can’t get my head around what I’ve read. I’m numb, I sit here the letter still in my hand and I stare at it, I read it again, hoping that reading it will help me understand why he’s done it again. But no matter how many times I read it, I come to the same conclusion. He’s an arsehole and I was played.

  As much as I want to crawl back into bed and sob, I’m not going to. I’m not going to let him get to me, I’m not going to cry anymore, he doesn’t deserve my tears. I’ve been through a lot in my life and this, this is just the icing on the cake, it shows me that men definitely can’t be trusted. From now on, I’m going to focus on going to college and becoming a hairdresser. I’m going to get certified and be the best hairdresser there is and after that, maybe, just maybe I may date again, but the way I’m feeling now, I doubt that will happen.

  I put the kettle on and wait for it to boil. That bloody letter is sitting on the table staring at me once it’s boiled, I pour myself a cup of tea. I shove the letter into the drawer and walk back to my bedroom. I sit on my bed and I pick up my phone, I scroll through and find the number. I take a deep breath and call Richie’s phone.

  “The mobile phone you have called is not available.” Great, the prick has his phone switched off. It’s time to wash my hands with him, he’s done this one too many times to me, and I’m never going to be that stupid again.

  My mind replays when I woke up last night; he told me he was going to the toilet, but the more I think about it, the mor
e I remember. He was fully dressed, I woke up because I heard something. No doubt he made a noise that woke me. He was leaving then and didn’t have the guts to tell me. He’s a coward plain and simple.

  The one thing I don’t understand is why he told me he loved me. He got what he wanted; I was having sex with him. Those words didn’t need to leave his mouth. That was just cruel, I don’t think I can ever forgive him. I don’t want to forgive him. He betrayed me, and it kills me, I’m angrier at myself for giving him a second chance. There was a reason I was so sceptical at wanting to give him another chance, a part of me didn’t trust him, I was scared that I was going to get hurt, that he was going to disappear again, and I was right.

  A part of me wants to call Pen or Stef and tell them what’s happened. But I don’t, Pen’s having fun and I don’t want to ruin that. She’ll be here later so I’ll talk to her about it then, no doubt she’ll say that I should have called her and that she’d have been right over but why should I spoil her fun because I was stupid? I can’t tell Stef because I didn’t tell her the whole truth yesterday, besides she’s heavily pregnant and I don’t want her to get upset.

  I sit and drink my tea, I eye some of Richie’s things scattered around the room. Having them here makes me angry, I go to the kitchen and place my cup in the sink and grab a bin bag. I go around my house and collect anything that belongs to him and put it into the rubbish bag. He actually didn’t leave that much, I have everything bagged up within fifteen minutes. Everything we were in the past four weeks and I can bag it up in less than fifteen minutes, gutting, absolutely gutting. I can’t bring myself to throw it in the bin, so I place it in the wardrobe in the spare bedroom and hopefully someday I’ll be able to get rid of it.

  I sit in the sitting room, the telly’s on but I’m not really paying attention. My mind is replaying everything that’s happened over the past month. The one thing I was worried about happening actually happened. I was scared that if we had sex that he’d do a runner and it happened. I think back and wonder if there were any signs, anything to tell me that this was going to happen and there wasn’t. The only thing was my gut. It’s something I should really listen to from now on.

  My nerves are shot as I pace the sitting room, Pen texted twelve minutes ago saying she was on her way. I’m dreading the conversation we’re going to have because there’s no way around it. I could lie and pretend everything is fine and that he’s gone to Bath for work but why should I? Why should I make him look like a good guy when he isn’t? Pen’s going to go mental, she hates when I’m hurt and boy has Richie hurt me. She’s going to want to hunt him down and castrate him.

  The doorbell rings and I frown, that’s a bit quick. I thought she’d be at least another twenty minutes. Walking to the door and I’m shocked when I look through the peephole and discover Stef standing there. Opening the door, I smile when I notice she brought a bag of chocolates and crisps. “Stef, what a pleasant surprise. Come in.” I open the door wider and let her through.

  “Penelope had told me about the monthly get-togethers that you two do. I’m annoyed I wasn’t invited so Pen invited me.” She sounds pissed off and if she is, I can’t deal with it, that childish bullshit isn’t what I want to have today not after what’s already happened.

  I close the door behind her. “Yeah, Pen and I have dinner and watch a movie. I don’t have a family so Pen’s it,” I reply a bit of bite to my tone, I don’t appreciate the dig she’s giving me. How dare she come into my house and be bitchy?

  Stef turns to look at me, shock written all over her face. “Who pissed you off?”

  I shake my head. “No one. You come in here pissed off because you haven’t been invited to two or three dinners that Pen and I have had.” I’m angry, she’s come here and started shit. If she and James are arguing, she doesn’t need to take it out on me.

  “I can go if it’s that much of a big deal?” She’s getting bitchy now too, she crosses her arms over her huge breasts and taps her foot.

  “What the hell? Stef don’t be absurd, what did Pen say to you?” I take a deep breath and control my anger, I’m not going to bite her head off, she wants to be a moody cow then so be it.

  Her mouth twists into a smirk. “Pen told me not to be a jealous cow and if I wanted to come I could”

  I bite my lip to hide my laughter. “You’re welcome to come here anytime you like. No need to be jealous.”

  She bats her hand at me and I dodge out of the way. “I’m not jealous.” She’s like a child; the only thing missing is her stamping her feet.

  “Of course, you’re not.” She narrows her eyes as I smirk. “Now what did you bring me?”

  She hands me the bag of goodies she’s holding. “I wasn’t sure what you usually have at these things,” She tells me as I look through the bag, ignoring that little jab. “I brought anything I thought you’d like.”

  “Thank you. You really didn’t need to bring anything.” The doorbell rings, and I grab the door handle, opening it to a frazzled looking Penelope. “You okay?” I ask quietly as she walks into the house.

  She glances at Stef and gives her one of her fake smiles. “Yeah I’m fine.” She’s lying but obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.

  “Okay, so what can I get you to drink?” I walk into the kitchen, and both Pen and Stef follow me.

  “Vodka,” Pen says immediately, and I look at her, I don’t think she’s had alcohol around me.

  “Tea for me please,” Stef says giving Pen a weird look, at least I’m not the only one that thinks Pen’s behaving oddly.

  “Okay, I’ll join Pen with the vodka. No one should drink alone.” I smirk; I blame it on Pen when in fact I need a strong drink. I want to get drunk and maybe, just maybe, the pain that I’m experiencing will stop for just a bit.

  “Can I use the loo?” Stef asks as she crosses her legs and slowly sways.

  I laugh. “Of course you can.”

  “Natalie, don’t laugh. Pregnancy makes you want to piss a lot,” Pen tells me as Stef rushes off to the bathroom. “I should have called and informed you that Stef was coming, I’m sorry.”

  I wave my hand and put the kettle on boil. “It’s fine, you don’t need to apologise. She seemed a bit upset that we’ve had a few dinners.”

  “Yeah, Stef’s a bit sensitive.” She glances toward the door and lowers her voice. “Nat, please don’t mention anything that we’ve discussed about David or anything else for that matter.”

  She doesn’t want Stef to know and that’s fine by me, it’s not my business to tell. “I won’t say a word,” I promise her just as the toilet flushes. I grab two glasses out of the cupboard and a mug for Stef’s tea.

  “Thank you. What do you want for dinner?” She says just as Stef comes back into the kitchen.

  “I’m not fussy. Whatever you two would like,” I pour Stef’s tea and hand it to her before opening the freezer and grabbing some ice. “Ice Pen?”

  “Yes please, so Stef, anything in particular you’d like to eat?” Pen asks her as I place ice in our glasses and pour in the vodka.

  “No, I’m not fussy either. And holy shit, are you two planning on getting pissed?” Her eyes wide as she looks at our glasses.

  Penelope goes to the fridge and takes out two cans of Coke. “I’m not adverse to it. If it happens, it happens.”

  “Pen, you order the food, and Stef and I will choose the film.” I take one of the cans from Pen and pour the coke into my glass.

  “Yeah, just nothing emotional or lovey. I want action. Is everyone okay with Pizza?” She asks pulling out her phone.

  “Sounds good to me, get me a huge spicy one please,” I beg, I love spicy foods and I could eat a horse, I haven’t eaten today and I’m starving.

  “Ooh, I’ll have a large one too but nothing spicy please,” Stef says. “I have the perfect film we can watch, come on Nat, let’s get the movie ready.”

  “Get garlic bread too,” I ask as Stef drags me out of the kitchen and into the s
itting room.

  “Lethal Weapon. Those movies are brilliant, and they’ll cheer Pen up.” Stef takes a seat on the armchair as I sit on the sofa. “Have you seen Lethal Weapon?”

  I roll my eyes. “Of course I have, four is my favourite.” I grab the remotes up off the table and search for Lethal Weapon. Today started out shit, but I’ve high hopes for this evening. If anyone can cheer me up, these two women can.

  Chapter 18

  “Stef, thank you for coming.” I hug her as Pen and I say goodbye. It’s only half eleven but James called and she’s leaving. I’m not mad just a bit disappointed. We had dinner, watched one film and she spent the rest of the night texting. She never once asked Pen what was wrong with her even though we both can tell that there’s something; she’s not herself and I’m worried.

  “It was so much fun, I hope we can do it again.” She squeezes me quickly before making her way down the steps and into the waiting car.

  Closing the door, I walk back into the sitting room. “Right, want to tell me what’s wrong?” I ask coming to sit down back on the sofa beside Penelope.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she lies to me.

  “I thought we were beyond lying to each other.” I’m a little hurt that she doesn’t want to tell me.

  A heavy sigh escapes her. “It’s Grant. Everything was fine, and we made up after I apologised, and I told him that if he wants to act as a child when he’s upset then he can leave.” She reaches for the bottle of vodka that’s on the table and starts to pour it into her glass.

  “What did he say to that?” I ask as she passes me the vodka.

  “He agreed that it was childish and that he wouldn’t do it again. That’s not what I’m pissed off at. He’s been talking about children and marriage for a while and I finally told him about David and Annalisa, I thought he understood that I wouldn’t be having any more children. I won’t have any more.” She brings her glass to her mouth and takes a gulp.