The Scandals of Life Page 13

  Jess starts to laugh. “I would loved to have seen that. Please tell me that bitch has finally learned that she and James are over?"

  "Not yet, she found out I had a miscarriage and was an even bigger bitch." I think the things she said to me are going to stay with me. She’s a cow and I hope to God she soon realises that she’s a bitch and changes her ways, for Amelia’s sake more than anything.

  "How the hell did she find that out? What did she say?" Jess is ready to go mental, she hates seeing me hurt just as I hate to see her hurt and upset.

  I shrug. “She told me that James is only with me for sympathy." Jess' hands ball up into fists. “That I'm not good enough to be a mum and that at least I know that now and that I don't deserve to be a mum."

  Jess begins to cry. “I hate her, Stef. Who says that to someone when they've just found out that they had a miscarriage? Please tell me you hit her?"

  "No, I know what she's after and she's not going to get it. She's trying her hardest to get me to lose my temper and as soon as I do, she's going to call the police. I'm not stupid and I won't fall into her trap. She wants me out of James' life and that's not going to happen." She looks a tad disappointed and I have something that will cheer her up. "Although Lisa did grab her by her hair and throw her out of the house."

  She fist-pumps. “Yes, good. She deserved it. So, other than his ex, how are you and James?" I make a strangled noise. “That good huh?"

  "I've been a cow to him since I found out I was pregnant and I've been scared." I just hope that James understands why when I tell him.

  "You were scared so you do what you always do—you push everyone away. Instead of telling him what's on your mind you pushed him." Her tone is harsh.

  "Yes, Jess, that's what I did, although I don't know why it's upset you?"

  "Because, Stef, I'm your best friend. You shouldn't push me away, you should come to me and I'll help you talk things through, but you don't." She's mad and hurt and I know this stems from me not coming to her straight away when my mum died and I didn't come to her when I had a miscarriage.

  "I'm sorry, Jess." I don't know what else I'm meant to say. I hate that I upset her but sometimes I need to work things through by myself.

  "I know you are, Stef, just remember that I'm here and I'll help you whenever you need me." I nod, grateful she's not making a big deal out of it and letting me off. “Come on, let's go buy my nephew some clothes."

  That puts a smile on my face. “Yes, I want to get James something too." I have an idea forming in my head and I can't wait to execute it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I decided to forget about cooking. I'm too anxious and knowing me I'll make a complete mess of it; I'd either burn it or give us both food poisoning. So, I'm going to order pizza when he gets in. That will give me time to talk to him, tell him what's happened. I just hope that he's okay with it. Hitting the select button on the Sky remote I see that it's five to five. He said he'd be home about five-ish; the waiting is killing me. I've been staring non-stop at the scan pictures the midwife gave me.

  The front door opens and I shove the scan pictures under the cushion of the sofa. I quickly stand up and realise that I'm acting suspicious. "Beautiful," he says as he walks into the room. "You okay?"

  "Yeah, but we need to talk." His eyes narrow. "Sit with me?"

  "Beautiful, what the hell is going on?" He's worried; his body is tense as he stares at me. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he fires out, his eyes roaming over my body to check that I’m okay.

  "I'm pregnant," I whisper and I watch his face; it slackens and he goes white as a ghost.

  "I don't know what to say." He sits down, his hands on his head. “What does this mean? Are you leaving me to go to him?" His voice is deep and gravelly.

  "What the hell are you talking about?" I frown as I look at him.

  "The baby, it's his." The way he says his makes me shiver.

  "No, you arsehole, it isn't." His head shoots up to look at me; I walk to the side of the sofa and pick up the bag I had hidden there. I throw it at him and walk up the stairs. I can't believe he thought I would leave him. I can't believe he thought it was Owen's. As soon as I hit the bedroom I throw myself onto the bed.

  I'm so stupid. I knew he'd wonder but I never thought he'd outright think it was Owen's. I blink away the tears that are threatening to come. I'm actually hurt that he said it, instead of asking how far along I was he made assumptions. I missed the look on his face when he got to open his present, the one I spent all afternoon making sure I got perfect.

  "Beautiful." Hearing his voice makes the tears that have been on the verge of coming fall. His voice is quiet, the way it always gets if we’re having an argument. It’s something I don’t think will ever change, it’s ingrained in him. This is him when he was with Valerie, he gets quiet because he’s unsure of what’s to come.

  "I'm an arsehole. I was worried about you and then when you said you were pregnant my mind wandered to you and him." He sits beside me. I'm lying on the bed and I don't want to get up. "I love the vest you got. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

  I turn my head so that I'm not facing him. “I didn't know. I wasn't sure how far along I was."

  "Steffy, I know I sounded like an arsehole downstairs but I wish you had told me from the beginning. I wouldn't have cared if it wasn't mine, I love you and in turn I would have loved your baby." He leans over and begins to caress my stomach.

  "You would have cared." I sit up and move closer to him because I can never stay mad at him for too long.

  "Beautiful, I would have been angry for a while but not at you, at myself! Then I would have manned up and dealt with it because being with you is everything anyone would ever need in their lives. You're like sunshine on a shit day, you’re the water after a long drought. Without you, my world doesn't move."

  Oh my God. "James," I say breathlessly, that was so sweet.

  "I'm so fucking glad that it's my baby you’re having." I laugh at him, so eloquent. "I love you, beautiful."

  I rest my head against his shoulder. “I have another appointment with the midwife in a few weeks. Do you want to come? We'll be able to see him."

  He jumps up off the bed and is kneeling in front of me in the blink of an eye. “Him?"

  I smack him. “You didn't even look at the present!" Rude!

  "You got me a vest top, beautiful, when have you ever seen me wear one?" He raises his eyebrow in question.

  "Where is it?" I demand, giving him a stern look.

  "What, I left it downstairs." He's looking at me like I've lost my mind.

  I stand up and push him out of my way. I begin to make my way downstairs. “Steffy, wait,” he shouts but I ignore him. Walking into the sitting room I see the bag I gave him is discarded on the sofa. Opening it I pull out the two vests that I got—one for him and one for our baby.

  “Beautiful,” he calls out from behind me and I turn around and hold up the vest I got for him. The words clear to read and his eyes widen and his mouth opens in shock as he reads:

  #DaddyBoss

  “Stef.” He sounds as though he's about to cry. I swap vests and hold up the baby one and he reads it.

  #LittleBoss

  His eyes are shimmering as he starts walking towards me. “You always manage to make me speechless. Your beauty, your kindness, your forgivingness, and now this. Beautiful, you are an angel on earth.” He leans in and captures my lips.

  I pull away to catch my breath."You're a smooth talker."

  He winks at me. “Always. So is the baby okay? What about what happened last time?"

  "James," I smile up at him, "I'm almost twenty-two weeks pregnant."

  He frowns much like Jess did. “So what happened, you didn't have a miscarriage? Why the hell did they tell you that you had?" He's spitting mad. He pulls out his phone and looks as though he's going to call someone.

  "Because I did have one," I say softly. He looks at me with so much confusion and
hurt in his eyes that I have to look away. "Peyton was a twin." I have that sad smile, the one where you're trying your hardest not to crumble.

  "Beautiful." He opens his arms and I fall into them. "But he's okay though?"

  "Yeah, he's doing really well. Want to see him?" I look up at him and he's staring at me as though I've ten heads. I pull away and walk to the cushion I shoved the scans under. Taking a seat, I tap the seat beside me and he walks over, his eyes fixated on the scans.

  Handing them to him, he studies each one carefully. "He's got a big head," he quips, bringing the image closer to his face.

  I snatch the pictures out of his hands."He does not! How dare you say that?"

  "Beautiful, I was joking. When's the next scan?" He leans over my shoulder so he can get another look at them.

  "Three weeks, I need one at twenty-five weeks. So, what are you doing tomorrow?" I want to start looking at nursery sets and stuff.

  "Nothing much. Why, what do you have planned?" He's looking at me suspiciously.

  "I want to go to Mothercare, see what they have for nursery stuff."

  "Sounds good, are we buying one for each house?"

  I look at him. “This house and the Cotswolds?"

  "No, this house and my house." He's being a smartarse."Stef, I'm being serious."

  "What? James, you're here every night, you really think when the baby’s born you're going to be traipsing across London? Most of your stuff is here anyway, just move the rest of it in." He's crazy if he thought that was a good idea.

  "This is why I love you, you don't even hesitate." I roll my eyes as his arms come around me. “So shall I sell my house?"

  I shrug. “If you want? You could rent it?" The money he'd make from rent would more than pay for any maintenance.

  "That's actually a good idea; the money I'd make for rent could go into an account for the baby. I'll get Matthew to help move my stuff in here and I'll have the house ready to rent within the week." He's grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  "I suppose that means I've got to make some room for your crap?" I've seen some of what he calls antiques and they're nothing but rotting wood, he also has a weird obsession with rugs. Now I don't mind a rug, especially in my sitting room, but James has them throughout his house on top of his carpet.

  "I don't come with much baggage." I laugh at that statement, he wishes he didn't come with that much baggage. "I meant I won't be bringing much with me."

  "Okay, I'll clear a drawer out or two. So, are you hiring someone to get your house ready for renters?" I’m hoping that he’ll hire someone because if he does the work no one will want to move in.

  "Yes, I'm going to hire someone. Don't worry, I'm not stupid. Where's this dinner you were going to cook for me?" He's a cheeky git.

  "I decided against it. I didn't want to give your son food poisoning." His eyes light up as I say his son. “Are you going to tell your parents?"

  "Yeah, I'll call them later on and I'll tell them. Just be prepared for the bombardment you're about to receive." He's enjoying this, but the difference is, they're his parents and they'll be bombarding him, not me; well, I hope not. "Food, woman, I'm hungry."

  "You know where the kitchen is, don't you?" I give him a pointed look. “I thought we'd order pizza."

  "Sounds good, why don't you go have a bath; I'll order dinner and call my parents." He leans over and kisses my cheek. "Then afterwards we'll look online and see if we can find nursery furniture we like."

  I won't say no."Sounds good. Tell your parents I said hello." I kiss his lips as I stand.

  "Will do, beautiful, just go and relax." He slaps my arse as I walk past him and having him do that, it makes me smile. He's confident with me and happy to be himself.

  I'm just out of the bath when the doorbell rings, the pizza’s here. That was quick. I was hoping to be out of the bath and dressed by the time it came. So, I quickly dry myself off and throw on some pyjamas and rush downstairs; the smell of the pizza wafting through the house. “That was quick," I call out as I hit the bottom step.

  "Yeah, it didn't take too long. You ready?" he calls back, he sounds weird, he's up to something.

  Walking into the sitting room, my breath catches as I see the candlelit dinner he has set up. “James, what's this for?”

  He shrugs looking sheepish. “Can't I do something nice for you?”

  “Of course you can, thank you.” I walk over to him and sit on his lap. “I love you so much, James.”

  “I love you too, beautiful. When will you get a bump? Don't most pregnant women have one by now?” He pushes me into a standing position and turns me to face him. Pulling up my pyjama top he looks at my stomach. “You have one. A tiny bump but it's there. How did I not notice it before?”

  I look down, I never noticed it either. “We never took any notice before. I just thought I was bloated,” I laugh. It sounds so stupid. Who doesn't know they're five months pregnant?

  He leans forward and plants a kiss on my stomach. “Time to eat.” He pulls one of the boxes towards him.

  “What did your parents say?” I ask lifting the other box as I take a seat next to him on the sofa.

  He takes a bite out of his sausage and pepperoni pizza and gives me his amazing smile, the one where his eyes light up. “Mum threatened to come here tonight; she's that excited and wants to see you."

  I open the box and see he's got me my favourite pizza—the meat feast. I love this; it has everything except mushrooms. "Why?" I don't even look in his direction, just shove the pizza into my mouth and take a massive bite, my mouth waters as I do.

  "She wants to see with her own eyes that you're okay." I look at him, confused. “She's worried about you, and you’ve been through a lot recently, beautiful, and she wants to make sure that you're okay."

  "That's sweet of her but she doesn't need to, I'm fine. You told her that, didn't you?"

  "Of course, I did, she said and I quote, 'you're a man, you have no idea what us women are thinking.' So basically, she thinks I don't know what you're feeling."

  I reach over and give him a sympathetic pat on the leg. “You do know what I'm feeling, babe, don't let her tell you otherwise." I'm being serious but for some reason it comes really sarcastic.

  He gives me a look and I take another bite of pizza so I don't start laughing. "Whatever, so they'll be here tomorrow morning and after I finished talking to them, Matthew called."

  “What?" I'm beginning to worry as his face is deadpan. I can't read him.

  "Val's gone."

  "I'm sorry, gone where?" I'm so confused, where the hell has she gone to?

  "She's vanished; she left Amelia at Matthew's yesterday and hasn't been heard from since." He sounds worried, and now I'm starting to worry. Does he still have feelings for her? “Beautiful, get that thought out of your head.”

  “How about you get out of my head?” I'm being bitchy, I don't mean to be but I'm scared. I hate that I have this uncertainty.

  “Steffy, I left her. You have to realise that she was a part of my life for a long time and I can't switch off the worry I have. She's fucked off and left her baby behind. That screams out that she needs help.”

  I hate that he makes sense. “What are you going to do?”

  “Nothing much I can do. Matthew’s calling the police and filing a report and we’re going to take it from there. It's not going to change anything. You're the one I love okay?”

  I nod. “Okay, how is Amelia?” That poor baby. Even though her mum's a cow she's still her mum. She needs her and the sooner she comes home the better.

  “Matt said she's been quiet. No doubt scared. She misses her mum. Thankfully she's been around Matthew every day since Christmas so it's helping. Mum and Dad are on their way down to him as we speak. It gives her something to direct her focus on rather than annoying you.”

  “Hey, I have never once called your mum annoying or implied she annoys me.” I sit back on the sofa with my legs crossed. Even though I've never said i
t, I don't want it to happen, but I have a feeling the way she is—overenthusiastic about everything—she may end up annoying me. I'm just hoping that I'm overthinking things.

  "Bear with it, beautiful, you've not known her long enough." He laughs. “Relax, I'm joking."

  I narrow my eyes. “Not funny. So I guess looking at baby stuff tomorrow is out of the question?" I'm disappointed. I was really looking forward to it. When Jess was pregnant, I had the best time shopping for baby bits. And knowing that it would be for my own baby, my excitement skyrocketed.

  "Why would it be?" He's still stuffing his face with pizza. I've had four slices and I'm stuffed. "Stef?"

  "Well, your parents are coming," I remind him.

  "They'd probably want to come with us if we said it."

  How do I nicely say that I don’t want them to come? "No." Shit, that wasn't nicely. He raises his eyebrow. “This is something I'd rather do with just you."

  He gives me that smile again. “Okay, beautiful, just us. We'll get rid of them early and we can go shopping."

  I lean over and kiss him. “Thank you. They won't mind, will they?"

  He shrugs. “Not really, I told them we were going shopping and I think they were wanting to buy stuff." He throws his empty pizza box onto the table.

  "Oh." I feel bad now.

  "No, don't say oh. They'll be fine," he tries to reassure me. "So, are we telling everyone now?"

  "No, not yet. After everything that's happened I'd rather wait."

  "Beautiful, are you worried?" I nod, unsure what to say to him without sounding daft. "The midwife said he was okay though?"

  "I know, but before I didn't know I was pregnant and we lost one of them. He's been growing for five months and I never knew about him! He may not be fine, she might be wrong."

  He uncrosses my legs and pulls me towards him. “Okay, we won't tell anyone until we're ready." I know when he says we're he means me.

  "It's only my family that knows and I'll make sure they don't say anything."